ARW,

Been clearing out my old desk and came across this little gem that was sent
to me many years ago, underneath an old stack of paperwork - and immediately
thought of you and some of your posts.

I've adapted the heading slightly to suit - but the advice is still sound!
vbg

====

RULES FOR G/F MAINTENANCE

- Give Her a good Going Over at regular intervals.
- Grease Her NIPPLES well.
- When Running Her in. break Her in GENTLY!
- Her CLUTCH should not be too 'Hairy'.
- Wax Her BODY all over.
- If you should strike Her REAR END - say Sorry.
- Check Her 'Load Bearing' capacity... too much weight can impede her
PERFORMANCE!
- If She loses Her SPARK, she may be suffering from high TENSION troubles.
- Never take Her too fast up the 'Straight'. warm Her up GENTLY first!
- Keep Fingertip Control at all times.
- Her 'BIG ENDS' should be kept Well Oiled!
- Don't leave Your TOOL hanging about.
- Give Her a Re-bore when necessary... and a good Grind-In!
- If She sags when Climbing give Her a Boost... and see if She's got any
GOOD POINTS!
- Check Her BODY for Blemishes - and Touch Her Up where necessary.

- Remember - IF YOU CAN'T GET IT IN FIRST DON'T FORCE IT!

Mmm.... "Swiss" Wadsworth??

;-)

Jim K

On 21/02/2014 17:50, Unbeliever wrote:
ARW,

Been clearing out my old desk and came across this little gem that was sent
to me many years ago, underneath an old stack of paperwork - and immediately
thought of you and some of your posts.

I've adapted the heading slightly to suit - but the advice is still sound!
vbg

====

RULES FOR G/F MAINTENANCE

- Give Her a good Going Over at regular intervals.
- Grease Her NIPPLES well.
- When Running Her in. break Her in GENTLY!
- Her CLUTCH should not be too 'Hairy'.
- Wax Her BODY all over.
- If you should strike Her REAR END - say Sorry.
- Check Her 'Load Bearing' capacity... too much weight can impede her
PERFORMANCE!
- If She loses Her SPARK, she may be suffering from high TENSION troubles.
- Never take Her too fast up the 'Straight'. warm Her up GENTLY first!
- Keep Fingertip Control at all times.
- Her 'BIG ENDS' should be kept Well Oiled!
- Don't leave Your TOOL hanging about.
- Give Her a Re-bore when necessary... and a good Grind-In!
- If She sags when Climbing give Her a Boost... and see if She's got any
GOOD POINTS!
- Check Her BODY for Blemishes - and Touch Her Up where necessary.

- Remember - IF YOU CAN'T GET IT IN FIRST DON'T FORCE IT!


I assume this is what passes for humour if you are a failed foreman....


--
Dave - The Medway Handyman www.medwayhandyman.co.uk

"Unbeliever" wrote in message
...
ARW,

Been clearing out my old desk and came across this little gem that was
sent
to me many years ago, underneath an old stack of paperwork - and
immediately
thought of you and some of your posts.

I've adapted the heading slightly to suit - but the advice is still sound!
vbg

====

RULES FOR G/F MAINTENANCE

- Give Her a good Going Over at regular intervals.
- Grease Her NIPPLES well.
- When Running Her in. break Her in GENTLY!
- Her CLUTCH should not be too 'Hairy'.
- Wax Her BODY all over.
- If you should strike Her REAR END - say Sorry.
- Check Her 'Load Bearing' capacity... too much weight can impede her
PERFORMANCE!
- If She loses Her SPARK, she may be suffering from high TENSION troubles.
- Never take Her too fast up the 'Straight'. warm Her up GENTLY first!
- Keep Fingertip Control at all times.
- Her 'BIG ENDS' should be kept Well Oiled!
- Don't leave Your TOOL hanging about.
- Give Her a Re-bore when necessary... and a good Grind-In!
- If She sags when Climbing give Her a Boost... and see if She's got any
GOOD POINTS!
- Check Her BODY for Blemishes - and Touch Her Up where necessary.

- Remember - IF YOU CAN'T GET IT IN FIRST DON'T FORCE IT!

Nice:-)



--
Adam