ARW,

Been clearing out my old desk and came across this little gem that was sent
to me many years ago, underneath an old stack of paperwork - and immediately
thought of you and some of your posts.

I've adapted the heading slightly to suit - but the advice is still sound!
vbg

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RULES FOR G/F MAINTENANCE

- Give Her a good Going Over at regular intervals.
- Grease Her NIPPLES well.
- When Running Her in. break Her in GENTLY!
- Her CLUTCH should not be too 'Hairy'.
- Wax Her BODY all over.
- If you should strike Her REAR END - say Sorry.
- Check Her 'Load Bearing' capacity... too much weight can impede her
PERFORMANCE!
- If She loses Her SPARK, she may be suffering from high TENSION troubles.
- Never take Her too fast up the 'Straight'. warm Her up GENTLY first!
- Keep Fingertip Control at all times.
- Her 'BIG ENDS' should be kept Well Oiled!
- Don't leave Your TOOL hanging about.
- Give Her a Re-bore when necessary... and a good Grind-In!
- If She sags when Climbing give Her a Boost... and see if She's got any
GOOD POINTS!
- Check Her BODY for Blemishes - and Touch Her Up where necessary.

- Remember - IF YOU CAN'T GET IT IN FIRST DON'T FORCE IT!