Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as a
close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I suppose
someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my wallet - but
I doubt it.

I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that maybe
I was right & let me carry on.

The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors have
to go through.


--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk
01634 717930
07850 597257

On Sat, 30 Sep 2006 22:44:17 GMT, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:

Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as a
close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

You should have asked him if he'd done his Risk Assessment Statements,
one for asking you to perform and one for asking for your Risk
Assessment Statement.

Buy yourself a small piece of lava (very cheap) or pick up a piece
from you local volcano (Teneriffe etc). Whenever you are asked about
risk show this piece of lava and explain that it is a meteorite that
just fell and hit the ground 2 feet in front of you.



--
Regards, Paul Herber, Sandrila Ltd. http://www.pherber.com/
Electronics for Visio http://www.electronics.sandrila.co.uk/

In article ,
The Medway Handyman wrote:
When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing
as a close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls
etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I
suppose someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my
wallet - but I doubt it.

I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that
maybe I was right & let me carry on.

The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors
have to go through.

With location TV you have to provide a risk assessment for anywhere where
members of the public are present. But you can put something like 'no
risks foreseen'. It's probably just to show at least some thought has gone
into it.

--
*Black holes are where God divided by zero *

Dave Plowman London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

On Sun, 01 Oct 2006 00:16:28 +0100, Dave Plowman (News) wrote:

With location TV you have to provide a risk assessment for anywhere
where members of the public are present. But you can put something like
'no risks foreseen'. It's probably just to show at least some thought
has gone into it.

If I saw that on a call sheet it would show that *no* thought had gone
into it. No mention of trailing cables, generators/power supplies,
public/crowds, vehicle movements and many others?

I'm not a great fan of Risk Assements, they tend to be more box ticking
and arse covering excercises than anything else. But just occasionally
something pops up that makes people aware of a hazard, provided the read
the RA...

--
Cheers
Dave. pam is missing e-mail

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
k...
Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as
a close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.
Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!
Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I
suppose someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my
wallet - but I doubt it.
I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that
maybe I was right & let me carry on.
The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors
have to go through.
Dave


Some years ago I was H&S advisor in one of our well known companies, and
responsible for ensuring that H&S was applied in a sensible and
cost-effective manner.
At my own site we were inspected under the Factory Inspector system, and I
always found these inspectors knowledgeable and reasonable in their attitude
to a wide range of industrial safety matters. Things were very different
at one of our subsidiary sites where it was purely an office environment
where training manuals etc. were written for our defence equipment. Here the
inspection was carried out by the local authority employees, and nit-picking
was the order of the day. Give me real factory inspectors any time!
Perhaps I was seeing the first examples of our "nanny state" in action.

--
M Stewart
Milton Keynes, UK



--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
k...
Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as
a close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I
suppose someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my
wallet - but I doubt it.

I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that
maybe I was right & let me carry on.

The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors
have to go through.

When I do candlemaking with schoolchildren I'm asked for a risk assessment
by the council.

I tell them that there's a risk of severe burns or death from hot beeswax,
that there's a risk of severe burns or death from lighted candles, that
there are only two of us in charge of a class.

I don't think they ever read these things because no-one's ever challenged
me or said I can't do it.

Mary


--
Dave
The Medway Handyman
www.medwayhandyman.co.uk
01634 717930
07850 597257

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
. net...


When I do candlemaking with schoolchildren I'm asked for a risk assessment
by the council.

I tell them that there's a risk of severe burns or death from hot beeswax,
that there's a risk of severe burns or death from lighted candles, that
there are only two of us in charge of a class.

I don't think they ever read these things because no-one's ever challenged
me or said I can't do it.

That is not a risk assessment.
It is a list of risks.
What do you list as precautions you are taking to minimise the risks?
You wouldn't get the go ahead if you gave that to me.

On Sat, 30 Sep 2006 22:44:17 GMT, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:

Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as a
close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I suppose
someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my wallet - but
I doubt it.

I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that maybe
I was right & let me carry on.

The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors have
to go through.

What do you expect where assaulting a policeman or mugging will carry
a spot fine of up to £100?

I can see the mugger opening his bag of swag and counting out £100 and
saying that he had three successful other muggings so it was a good
days work.

The message om
from "Dave Liquorice" contains these words:

I'm not a great fan of Risk Assements, they tend to be more box ticking
and arse covering excercises than anything else. But just occasionally
something pops up that makes people aware of a hazard, provided the read
the RA...

We have ground water seeping up through the tarmac into an area where
the kids keep their bikes at the junior school. We're considering
turning it into a bog-garden 'cos there's no way we're going to be able
to stop it as it's happening on the boundary between porous subsoil and
clay. In effect a springline.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

On Sun, 01 Oct 2006 12:05:23 GMT, EricP wrote:

|On Sat, 30 Sep 2006 22:44:17 GMT, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:
|
|Hi All
|
|When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as a
|close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.
|
|Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
|arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
|performance!
|
|Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I suppose
|someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my wallet - but
|I doubt it.
|
|I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that maybe
|I was right & let me carry on.
|
|The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors have
|to go through.
|
|What do you expect where assaulting a policeman or mugging will carry
|a spot fine of up to ?100?
|
|I can see the mugger opening his bag of swag and counting out ?100 and
|saying that he had three successful other muggings so it was a good
|days work.

You forget that the policeman can pass the case up to the Magistrates Court
who can pass the case up to the Crown Court.
--
Dave Fawthrop dave hyphenologist co uk Google Groups is IME the *worst*
method of accessing usenet. GG subscribers would be well advised get a
newsreader, say Agent, and a newsserver, say news.individual.net. These
will allow them: to see only *new* posts, a killfile, and other goodies.

On Sat, 30 Sep 2006 22:44:17 GMT, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:

|Hi All
|
|When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as a
|close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.
|
|Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
|arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
|performance!
|
|Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I suppose
|someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my wallet - but
|I doubt it.
|
|I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that maybe
|I was right & let me carry on.
|
|The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors have
|to go through.


How about writing a Risk Assessment like.
"There is a risk that someone might *believe* in the tricks I perform, and
I do my best to maximise this risk.
Unfortunately there is always someone in the peer group who insists that it
is all done by slight of hand."
--
Dave Fawthrop dave hyphenologist co uk Google Groups is IME the *worst*
method of accessing usenet. GG subscribers would be well advised get a
newsreader, say Agent, and a newsserver, say news.individual.net. These
will allow them: to see only *new* posts, a killfile, and other goodies.

The Medway Handyman wrote:
Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as a
close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I suppose
someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my wallet - but
I doubt it.

I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that maybe
I was right & let me carry on.

The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors have
to go through.



Bets, please: how long before householders, sorry, 'responsible
persons', have to produce one annually, copies to be appended to the
Sale Pack, provided to visitors etc.?

Put the "sawing the woamn in half" trick on you repetoire. It'll make
the risk assessment a laugh.

Actually as handyman and magician, you're well qualified.

"dennis@home" wrote in message
. uk...

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
. net...


When I do candlemaking with schoolchildren I'm asked for a risk
assessment by the council.

I tell them that there's a risk of severe burns or death from hot
beeswax, that there's a risk of severe burns or death from lighted
candles, that there are only two of us in charge of a class.

I don't think they ever read these things because no-one's ever
challenged me or said I can't do it.

That is not a risk assessment.
It is a list of risks.

It would have been long and boring if I'd said here everything I put on the
form :-)

What do you list as precautions you are taking to minimise the risks?

That's irrelevant here, Of course I put it on the form.

You wouldn't get the go ahead if you gave that to me.

shrug They ask me to do it, I've never offered. I have a good reputation,
it seems.

Mary

On Sun, 01 Oct 2006 16:18:47 +0100 someone who may be Owain
wrote this:-

psychological trauma from seeing a candle which in
the eyes of a social worker probably looks something like a phallus.

No doubt the social worker would consider that Mary is depraved and
is depraving the children. Lock her up at once. Think of the
children.


--
David Hansen, Edinburgh
I will *always* explain revoked encryption keys, unless RIP prevents me
http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2000/00023--e.htm#54

In message , EricP
writes
On Sat, 30 Sep 2006 22:44:17 GMT, "The Medway Handyman"
wrote:

Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as a
close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I suppose
someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my wallet - but
I doubt it.

I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that maybe
I was right & let me carry on.

The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors have
to go through.

What do you expect where assaulting a policeman or mugging will carry
a spot fine of up to £100?

I can see the mugger opening his bag of swag and counting out £100 and
saying that he had three successful other muggings so it was a good
days work.

I could see people being fined for assaulting a policeman's boot with
their heads
--
geoff

"Malcolm Stewart" wrote in
message .. .
....
At my own site we were inspected under the Factory Inspector system, and I
always found these inspectors knowledgeable and reasonable in their
attitude to a wide range of industrial safety matters. ..

The Factory Inspector with a strong practical knowledge is IME a thing of
the past. The last few I've had through seemed only to know what they had
read in books.

Colin Bignell

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
k...
Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing as
a close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

As the law requires that you should, but you are under no obligation to
record assessments that do not produce an identifiable risk. Therefore,
assuming you really have thought about the possible risks involved, rather
than simply assuming there are none, it would be quite acceptable to answer
that you have carried out a risk assessment and found no identifiable risks.
Of course, few H&S professionals are actually likely to believe that - I've
known someone incur a reportable injury (he was off work for a week) by
simply picking up a piece of paper.

Colin Bignell

In article ,
"nightjar" nightjar@insert my surname here.uk.com writes:
The Factory Inspector with a strong practical knowledge is IME a thing of
the past. The last few I've had through seemed only to know what they had
read in books.

Oh well, my mum was a factory inspector until sometime around 1960,
I think. Her area was Kingston upon Thames. She had to deal with a
number of nasty accidents in tanneries, of which there were several
on her patch. A common accident in those days was to lose a hand in
the hot pressure rollers used to flatten leather hides, and in some
cases the other hand too in the effort to get the first hand out.
One case of this was a young lad who was working there as a summer
job, before taking up his scholarship at Oxford to study piano.
Building sites were another bad area in those days.

--
Andrew Gabriel

"Owain" wrote in message
...
Mary Fisher wrote:
When I do candlemaking with schoolchildren I'm asked for a risk
assessment by the council.
I tell them that there's a risk of severe burns or death from hot
beeswax, that there's a risk of severe burns or death from lighted
candles, that there are only two of us in charge of a class.
I don't think they ever read these things because no-one's ever
challenged me or said I can't do it.

You've forgotten slipping on wax spilt on the floor,

I mention that too!

anaphylactic reaction to beeswax,

Never heard of an incidence of that ...

gangrene from tying a length of wick too tightly round a finger,

Never thought of that - thanks!

and psychological trauma from seeing a candle which in the eyes of a
social worker probably looks something like a phallus.

Ooh, that's an idea. Mind you, I wouldn't fancy experienceing a phallus like
a dipped candle ... a bit too pointy for my liking.

Do social workers suffer from psychological trauma ?

Mary

"David Hansen" wrote in message
...
On Sun, 01 Oct 2006 16:18:47 +0100 someone who may be Owain
wrote this:-

psychological trauma from seeing a candle which in
the eyes of a social worker probably looks something like a phallus.

No doubt the social worker would consider that Mary is depraved and
is depraving the children. Lock her up at once. Think of the
children.

dreaming I wouldn't mind being locked away from children ...

.... but I might be locked away with the worst kind - those with personal
knowledge of a phallus :-(

Mary

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
. net...

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
k...
Hi All



When I do candlemaking with schoolchildren I'm asked for a risk assessment
by the council.

I tell them that there's a risk of severe burns or death from hot beeswax,
that there's a risk of severe burns or death from lighted candles, that
there are only two of us in charge of a class.

I don't think they ever read these things because no-one's ever challenged
me or said I can't do it.


Ah, but that's not the point. It doesn't matter if you kill them, the only
important thing is that you have done the risk assessment (which you have).
It can be filed, you can carry on and everyone's happy. This is, to be fair,
the fault of the council not risk assessments in general, which can (and
should) be applied to everyone's benefit.


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not

"Bob Mannix" wrote in message
...

"Mary Fisher" wrote in message
. net...

"The Medway Handyman" wrote in message
k...
Hi All



When I do candlemaking with schoolchildren I'm asked for a risk
assessment by the council.

I tell them that there's a risk of severe burns or death from hot
beeswax, that there's a risk of severe burns or death from lighted
candles, that there are only two of us in charge of a class.

I don't think they ever read these things because no-one's ever
challenged me or said I can't do it.


Ah, but that's not the point. It doesn't matter if you kill them, the only
important thing is that you have done the risk assessment (which you
have). It can be filed, you can carry on and everyone's happy. This is, to
be fair, the fault of the council not risk assessments in general, which
can (and should) be applied to everyone's benefit.

That's what I'd decided.

I'll have to find another way to get out of doing it :-(

Mary


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not

On Mon, 2 Oct 2006 15:48:19 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

Ooh, that's an idea. Mind you, I wouldn't fancy experienceing a phallus
like a dipped candle ... a bit too pointy for my liking.

Turn it round?

--
Cheers
Dave. pam is missing e-mail

"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.com...
On Mon, 2 Oct 2006 15:48:19 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

Ooh, that's an idea. Mind you, I wouldn't fancy experienceing a phallus
like a dipped candle ... a bit too pointy for my liking.

Turn it round?

OUCH!

In message , Mary
Fisher writes

"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ill.com...
On Mon, 2 Oct 2006 15:48:19 +0100, Mary Fisher wrote:

Ooh, that's an idea. Mind you, I wouldn't fancy experienceing a phallus
like a dipped candle ... a bit too pointy for my liking.

Turn it round?

OUCH!

There's just no pleasuring some people

--
geoff

On Mon, 02 Oct 2006 20:23:38 GMT, raden wrote:

Ooh, that's an idea. Mind you, I wouldn't fancy experienceing a
phallus like a dipped candle ... a bit too pointy for my liking.

Turn it round?

OUCH!

There's just no pleasuring some people

Obviously never been to Amsterdam and looked in the windows. Now some of
those really are OUCH! Not all are phallus shaped either...

--
Cheers
Dave. pam is missing e-mail

In message om, Dave
Liquorice writes
On Mon, 02 Oct 2006 20:23:38 GMT, raden wrote:

Ooh, that's an idea. Mind you, I wouldn't fancy experienceing a
phallus like a dipped candle ... a bit too pointy for my liking.

Turn it round?

OUCH!

There's just no pleasuring some people

Obviously never been to Amsterdam and looked in the windows. Now some of
those really are OUCH! Not all are phallus shaped either...

She's been to Hull

or so I heard

--
geoff

"Dave Liquorice" wrote in message
ll.com...
On Mon, 02 Oct 2006 20:23:38 GMT, raden wrote:

Ooh, that's an idea. Mind you, I wouldn't fancy experienceing a
phallus like a dipped candle ... a bit too pointy for my liking.

Turn it round?

OUCH!

There's just no pleasuring some people

Obviously never been to Amsterdam and looked in the windows. Now some of
those really are OUCH! Not all are phallus shaped either...

I cannot tell a lie. I've never been to Amsterdam. I think this is a good
time to kill this thread :-)

Mary

--
Cheers
Dave. pam is missing e-mail

Nick2 wrote:

On Sat, 30 Sep 2006 22:44:17 +0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:

Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing
as a close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls
etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I
suppose someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my
wallet - but I doubt it.

I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that
maybe I was right & let me carry on.

The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors
have to go through.

It is all getting a bit silly...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/h...cs/5403886.stm

"A council has cordoned off pear trees in a public park over fears falling
fruit could land on someone's head."

"A city council spokesman said the precaution was cheaper than the
potential legal cost if someone was hit on the head with a pear and sued."

When I were a lad if that had happened to me I'd say "Ow", then collect
the offending fruit and as many of its relatives that happened to be
available at the time.

Are we living in an age of compensation culture? You decide.


Apparently these pears weighed a pound each (thats almost 550 grams),
were rock hard and the highest were 30 feet (thats over nine meters) up
the tree. When interviewed on the radio this morning the council
representative invited the sceptical journalists to have a one pound
weight dropped on their head from thirty feet up. Surprisingly they
all declined the offer.

People are regularly killed by falling coconuts and this seems to be a
similar situation.

The message
from Nick2 contains these words:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/h...cs/5403886.stm

"A council has cordoned off pear trees in a public park over fears falling
fruit could land on someone's head."

Yeah, but worse, they did it because some tit complained about it.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

"dcbwhaley" wrote in message
ups.com...


People are regularly killed by falling coconuts and this seems to be a
similar situation.

I've never known anyone be killed more than once.

Mary

In message . com,
dcbwhaley writes

Nick2 wrote:

On Sat, 30 Sep 2006 22:44:17 +0000, The Medway Handyman wrote:

Hi All

When I'm not in Handyman Mode, I earn about 20% of my income performing
as a close up magician. Card tricks, coins, bits of rope, cups & balls
etc.

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I
suppose someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my
wallet - but I doubt it.

I explained this to the nerd who asked and he reluctantly agreed that
maybe I was right & let me carry on.

The world has gone completely mad. Heaven knows what hoops contractors
have to go through.

It is all getting a bit silly...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/h...cs/5403886.stm

"A council has cordoned off pear trees in a public park over fears falling
fruit could land on someone's head."

"A city council spokesman said the precaution was cheaper than the
potential legal cost if someone was hit on the head with a pear and sued."

When I were a lad if that had happened to me I'd say "Ow", then collect
the offending fruit and as many of its relatives that happened to be
available at the time.

Are we living in an age of compensation culture? You decide.


Apparently these pears weighed a pound each (thats almost 550 grams),
were rock hard and the highest were 30 feet (thats over nine meters) up
the tree. When interviewed on the radio this morning the council
representative invited the sceptical journalists to have a one pound
weight dropped on their head from thirty feet up. Surprisingly they
all declined the offer.

People are regularly killed by falling coconuts and this seems to be a
similar situation.

Where's that video of the man in Thailand heading a durian ?

--
geoff

In message , Mary
Fisher writes

"dcbwhaley" wrote in message
oups.com...


People are regularly killed by falling coconuts and this seems to be a
similar situation.

I've never known anyone be killed more than once.

I dunno, doesn't he get killed every 20 minutes on the road as well ?

--
geoff

dcbwhaley wrote:

People are regularly killed by falling coconuts and this seems to be a
similar situation.

Regularly, but not frequently? ;-)

Chris
--
Chris J Dixon Nottingham UK


Have dancing shoes, will ceilidh.

The message
from Chris J Dixon contains these words:

People are regularly killed by falling coconuts and this seems to be a
similar situation.

Regularly, but not frequently? ;-)

Who knows. Perhaps there's a "dying by coconut" monitor who arranges
victims to a tidy schedule.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

"Guy King" wrote in message
...
The message
from Chris J Dixon contains these words:

People are regularly killed by falling coconuts and this seems to be a
similar situation.

Regularly, but not frequently? ;-)

Who knows. Perhaps there's a "dying by coconut" monitor who arranges
victims to a tidy schedule.

No it's reasonable. The only killings will occur when the coconuts are ripe
= one period per year = regularly. We still don't know if it's a frequent
occurrence though )


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)

The Medway Handyman wrote:

Just back from a gig in central London for a corporate party. When I
arrived I was asked if I had prepared a Risk Assessment Statement for my
performance!

Paper cuts from playing cards? Sharp scissors for cutting rope? I suppose
someone could die of shock when their signed card appears in my wallet - but
I doubt it.

Could have been juggling with chainsaws or spitting flaming lighter
fuel over the crowd...

In fact you should introduce those into your act. Real crown pleasers.
Then you'd have something exciting to put on the risk assessment.
You could re-use some of your tools - how about juggling angle grinders
- that'd be seriously impressive!

Maybe he'd seen David Copperfield and understood the dangers of the
crowd lynching the magician for being so ****. I wonder what David
Blaine put on his form before sitting in a box and starving in the name
of entertainment.

BTW - How did you learn the close up stuff? Book? Video? Wise old
venerable magician passing his trade down the generations? Months and
months of repetitive practice in the mirror.
--
Steve F

The message . com
from "Fitz" contains these words:


Could have been juggling with chainsaws or spitting flaming lighter
fuel over the crowd...

Nah, lighter fuel's not nice. BBQ lighting fluid doesn't sting so much
and doesn't taste /quite/ so bad.

--
Skipweasel
Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

"Guy King" wrote in message
...
The message . com
from "Fitz" contains these words:


Could have been juggling with chainsaws or spitting flaming lighter
fuel over the crowd...

Nah, lighter fuel's not nice. BBQ lighting fluid doesn't sting so much
and doesn't taste /quite/ so bad.

I find it difficult to tell the differecne once the tonic and lemon are in.


--
Bob Mannix
(anti-spam is as easy as 1-2-3 - not)