The following is supposedly an actual bonus question given on a
University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was
so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet,
which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
The bonus question was:

Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's
Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and
the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions
state if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people
do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of
souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.

So which is it?


If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
2 must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore,
extinct...leaving only Heaven...thereby proving the existence of a divine
being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A "!