You're such an idiot you think your post is on-topic for
rec.crafts.metalworking.

Dear Whatever:

I notice you have taken to task a writer about whether or not a post is on
topic, is spelled correctly, or is correct in some other minute detail.

I would like to inform you that the post of Netnanny is already filled. It
is held by Newton Fillmore, of Pacoima, California, although Mr. Fillmore is
currently in a coma in a facility in Riverside, and has been for three
years, eight months now. We just could not bring ourselves to demote him
without a proper hearing and him being present.

Please be advised that there are currently over 500 applicants and wannabes
for the position. That does not include people like yourself who have
broken with protocol and currently act like they are in the cherished
position.

If and when and if ever the post becomes available, you will be required to
write an essay of no longer than 1500 words, single spaced, using the words
there, they're, their, your, you're, and any others you can come up with in
as many incorrect grammatical situations as possible.

You must also describe the difference between "lose" and "loose" in 25 words
or less.

You must also include the reason that you think entitles you the lifelong
right to hold this post, and review the rest of humanity on its daily
heretofore
unobserved unsupervised act of Usenet Posting.

Steve
3rd Poohbah and Grand Mucky Muck
of the Society of Netnannies.

Addended by 4/19/2011

You forgot three of my favorites, its and it's, lightning and
lightening, and to, too and two