DIYbanter - Layoff Letter

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- - Layoff Letter (https://www.diybanter.com/metalworking/300729-layoff-letter.html)

Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our
President and that our taxes and government fees
will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices
would have to increase by about 10%. But since
we cannot increase our prices right now due to the
dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off
sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe
we are family here and I didn't know how to choose
who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking
lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our
employees' cars and have decided these folks will be
the ones to let go.. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. They voted for change......
I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS

On 3/31/2010 6:25 PM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our
President and that our taxes and government fees
will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices
would have to increase by about 10%. But since
we cannot increase our prices right now due to the
dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off
sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe
we are family here and I didn't know how to choose
who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking
lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our
employees' cars and have decided these folks will be
the ones to let go.. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. They voted for change......
I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS

Now the rest of the company will suffer because the Boss just went and
let go 60 of his smartest workers. Not a very bright thing to do. Which
means he didn't vote for Obama either.

Hawke

Hawke wrote:
On 3/31/2010 6:25 PM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our
President and that our taxes and government fees
will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices
would have to increase by about 10%. But since
we cannot increase our prices right now due to the
dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off
sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe
we are family here and I didn't know how to choose
who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking
lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our
employees' cars and have decided these folks will be
the ones to let go.. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. They voted for change......
I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS

Now the rest of the company will suffer because the Boss just went and
let go 60 of his smartest workers. Not a very bright thing to do. Which
means he didn't vote for Obama either.

He'd probably be accused of racism

On 2010-04-01, RBnDFW wrote:
Hawke wrote:
On 3/31/2010 6:25 PM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our
President and that our taxes and government fees
will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices
would have to increase by about 10%. But since
we cannot increase our prices right now due to the
dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off
sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe
we are family here and I didn't know how to choose
who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking
lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our
employees' cars and have decided these folks will be
the ones to let go.. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. They voted for change......
I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS

Now the rest of the company will suffer because the Boss just went and
let go 60 of his smartest workers. Not a very bright thing to do. Which
means he didn't vote for Obama either.

He'd probably be accused of racism

The letter was pure fiction, right?

i

"Ignoramus23298" wrote in message
...
On 2010-04-01, RBnDFW wrote:
Hawke wrote:
On 3/31/2010 6:25 PM, Stormin Mormon wrote:
Dear Employees:

As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned
myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our
President and that our taxes and government fees
will increase in a BIG way.

To compensate for these increases, our prices
would have to increase by about 10%. But since
we cannot increase our prices right now due to the
dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off
sixty of our employees instead.

This has really been bothering me since I believe
we are family here and I didn't know how to choose
who would have to go.

So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking
lots and found sixty 'Obama' bumper stickers on our
employees' cars and have decided these folks will be
the ones to let go.. I can't think of a more fair way
to approach this problem. They voted for change......
I gave it to them.

I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

THE BOSS

Now the rest of the company will suffer because the Boss just went and
let go 60 of his smartest workers. Not a very bright thing to do. Which
means he didn't vote for Obama either.

He'd probably be accused of racism

The letter was pure fiction, right?

i

It looks like a Gunnerism, all right. At least two humor blogs describe it
as a joke they got in their e-mail.

--
Ed Huntress