On Fri, 30 Jan 2009 15:15:45 -0800, Gunner Asch
wrote:

For those of you who care one way or another, the reports of my death
are not true, albiet it was a very close thing. Some of you may know
that last Saturday, I suffered a very unexpected heart attack, requiring
emergency triple by-ass, despirt having had a heart exam 2 months ago,
which declared my heart was in good shape.

Having the "widow maker" artery 95% blocked, and 2 more 100%
blocked...kicked my ass and hard.
I was taken by private transport to Arrowhead hospital in Fontana, where
they attempted to do a angioplasty. Once inside..they discovered
serious issues, slapped me in an ambulance and ran me code 3 to Loma
Linda univerity hospital (thank god) and using a dull chainsaw and a tow
truck, split me up the middle, ripped 34" of veins out of my right leg
and fixed the issues. I was released Thursday night and have arrived
home in Taft for a recovery.

Im damned glad I could write this to you...even the ones screaming and
pulling out their hair..."why didnt that son of a bitch die??!!!"

Well...I didnt die...And I plan on being around for a very long time to
be a pain in the ass to many people.

Gunner

Triple, eh? Well, I guess 3 out of 5 ain't too halfassed a job. G

I suppose a lot of folks were thinkin' along about inauguration day,
"man, Gunner's gonna have a heart attack." You weren't obligated to
oblige, you know.

I know exactly what you mean about the dull chainsaw and tow truck.
Afterwards it's like: "Oh, God, not a sneeze, puhleeze not a
sneeze..."

Keep on grinnin'. That *really* ****es off the ones that are already
screaming and pulling out their hair.

On Fri, 30 Jan 2009 22:36:51 -0600, Don Foreman
wrote:

On Fri, 30 Jan 2009 15:15:45 -0800, Gunner Asch
wrote:

For those of you who care one way or another, the reports of my death
are not true, albiet it was a very close thing. Some of you may know
that last Saturday, I suffered a very unexpected heart attack, requiring
emergency triple by-ass, despirt having had a heart exam 2 months ago,
which declared my heart was in good shape.

Having the "widow maker" artery 95% blocked, and 2 more 100%
blocked...kicked my ass and hard.
I was taken by private transport to Arrowhead hospital in Fontana, where
they attempted to do a angioplasty. Once inside..they discovered
serious issues, slapped me in an ambulance and ran me code 3 to Loma
Linda univerity hospital (thank god) and using a dull chainsaw and a tow
truck, split me up the middle, ripped 34" of veins out of my right leg
and fixed the issues. I was released Thursday night and have arrived
home in Taft for a recovery.

Im damned glad I could write this to you...even the ones screaming and
pulling out their hair..."why didnt that son of a bitch die??!!!"

Well...I didnt die...And I plan on being around for a very long time to
be a pain in the ass to many people.

Gunner


Oh, by the way and word to the wise from a veteran fellow traveller:
get and take some stool softeners. NOW! I got severaly constipated my
first week home and that was definitely the most miserable and painful
aspect of the entire experience. I now know it's quite common but
nobody warned me or us about it. I sure wished they had.

I'll skip graphic descriptions. I finally invented a way to clear the
blockage. I later learned that it's a fairly well-known procedure but
nobody freakin' told me about it when I need to know! It involves
warm water, a ketchup squeeze bottle with a nozzle, and a willing
assistant to keep refilling it for a couple of hours. Think
hydraulic mining of hard, very cohesive clay. NOT an enema -- you
sure as hell don't want more pressure in there. Think erosion from
the outside in. When you finally break thru the blockage the event is
somewhat spectacular and ohmygodwhatablessedrelief. Once per lifetime
is quite enough.

On Fri, 30 Jan 2009 23:33:24 -0600, Don Foreman
wrote:

home in Taft for a recovery.

Im damned glad I could write this to you...even the ones screaming and
pulling out their hair..."why didnt that son of a bitch die??!!!"

Well...I didnt die...And I plan on being around for a very long time to
be a pain in the ass to many people.

Gunner


Oh, by the way and word to the wise from a veteran fellow traveller:
get and take some stool softeners. NOW! I got severaly constipated my
first week home and that was definitely the most miserable and painful
aspect of the entire experience. I now know it's quite common but
nobody warned me or us about it. I sure wished they had.

I'll skip graphic descriptions. I finally invented a way to clear the


Ive got the stool softeners covered. I never did take a dump in the
horsepistol the 5 days I was there. However Ive don a bunch of Dairy
Queen Dumps yesterday and to day...you know..the kind about 5 feet long
and they wrap around the inside of the bowl about 5 times, with that
little thingy on the top..

G....ooooooh...wheres my huggy pillow! Laughing/coughing are STILL
contra indicated without my huggy pillow!

Thanks guys, Its good to be back

Hell..its good to be alive.


Gunner

Whenever a Liberal utters the term "Common Sense approach"....grab your
wallet, your ass, and your guns because the sombitch is about to do
something damned nasty to all three of them.

On Fri, 30 Jan 2009 23:40:08 -0800, the infamous Gunner Asch
scrawled the following:

On Fri, 30 Jan 2009 23:33:24 -0600, Don Foreman
wrote:

home in Taft for a recovery.

Im damned glad I could write this to you...even the ones screaming and
pulling out their hair..."why didnt that son of a bitch die??!!!"

Well...I didnt die...And I plan on being around for a very long time to
be a pain in the ass to many people.

Gunner


Oh, by the way and word to the wise from a veteran fellow traveller:
get and take some stool softeners. NOW! I got severaly constipated my
first week home and that was definitely the most miserable and painful
aspect of the entire experience. I now know it's quite common but
nobody warned me or us about it. I sure wished they had.

I'll skip graphic descriptions. I finally invented a way to clear the


Ive got the stool softeners covered. I never did take a dump in the
horsepistol the 5 days I was there. However Ive don a bunch of Dairy
Queen Dumps yesterday and to day...you know..the kind about 5 feet long
and they wrap around the inside of the bowl about 5 times, with that
little thingy on the top..

T O O M U C H I N F O R M A T I O N !


G....ooooooh...wheres my huggy pillow! Laughing/coughing are STILL
contra indicated without my huggy pillow!

Thanks guys, Its good to be back

Hell..its good to be alive.

So, how long will you be hanging around the homestead, watching Obama
and his new (reverting to damnear the entire Clinton cabinet is
"change", is it?) regime start things rolling? What a way to
recouperate!

--
Even with the best of maps and instruments,
we can never fully chart our journeys.
-- Gail Pool