Subject: The Retrosexual Movement


I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand any more!


Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men
prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign
concepts like "style" and "feng shui!"


Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual,
non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual bogus definitions have
taken over the urban and suburban world!


Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell
"ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the
culture wars,





The Retrosexual Movement




The Code:


A Retrosexual, no matter what the women insists,
PAYS FOR THE DATE.


A Retrosexual opens doors for a lady.
[Even for the ones that fit that term only because they are female]


A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your
home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.


A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.


A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long
you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking
cigars and
drinking, I'm amazed by you.


A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman.
Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need
an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods).


A Retrosexual does not dress in clothes from Hot Topic when he's 30
years old.


A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if
need be.


This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.


A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.


A Retrosexual does not let neighbors screw up rooms in his house
on national TV.


A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness
for women.


Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead
to you becoming a frou-frou little wuss, and in the long run, she
ain't
worth it.


A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental
stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in
a freak tree chipper accident, favorite sports team being moved to
a different city, favorite bird dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed
to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy
was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.


A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed
to conceal himself from prey.


A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing
a tie - and ONLY a Windsor knot.


A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag
about getting.


A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't
hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you
can -
or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.


A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are
riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEALING
WITH IT.
Plus it's just plain fun to shoot!


Crying. There are very few reason that a Retrosexual may cry, and none
of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports
teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of
release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a
Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved
one, death
of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major
body part.


A Retrosexual man's favorite movie isn't "Maid in Manhattan" (unless
that refers to some foxy French maid sitting in a huge tub of brandy
or
whiskey), or "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood." Acceptable ones
may
include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in
his better
days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy,
Scarface, The
Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III,
Full
Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt, any Bruce
Lee movie,
Apocalypse Now, Goodfellas, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, etc.etc.


When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and
a pregnant woman, [hell, any woman gets on], that Retrosexual stands
up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other
so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you punks!" look
on his
face.
..
A Retrosexual knows how to say the Pledge properly, and with the
correct emphasis and pronunciation. He also knows the words to the
Star
Spangled Banner. Most Retrosexuals can; also quote the Ten
Commandments!


A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not
understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they
offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when
married/engaged in a
serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting,
shooting,
cigars, car maintenance.


A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen
utensils.


A Retrosexual man can drive in snow (hell, a blizzard) without sliding
all over the road, going in the ditch, or driving under 20 mph,
without anxiety, and without high-centering his ride on a plow berm.


A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he
wants. [Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land!]


A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but
any elderly person or person in military dress (except officers above
2nd
Lt)


NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the
Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them
for serving their country.


A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good
enough. He will always stand by his word even if circumstances change
or the
other person deceived him.


A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he
does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes
in
the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT.


-- Author unknown--
The aim of untold millions is to be free to do exactly as they choose
and for someone else to pay when things go wrong.

In the past few decades, a peculiar and distinctive psychology
has emerged in England. Gone are the civility, sturdy independence,
and admirable stoicism that carried the English through the war years
.. It has been replaced by a constant whine of excuses, complaints,
and special pleading. The collapse of the British character has been
as swift and complete as the collapse of British power.

Theodore Dalrymple,

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your
home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
Git-r-done



A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if
need be.

Git-r-done


A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed
to conceal himself from prey.

Git-r-done

A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't
hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you
can -
or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

Git-r-done



A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are
riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEALING
WITH IT.
Plus it's just plain fun to shoot!

GIT-R-DONE!!!



A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen
utensils.

Git-r-done

A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he
wants. [Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land!]

Git-r-done


A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he
does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes
in
the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT.

Git-r-done


-- Author unknown--

Larry the cable guy

--
For choosing to fight, one gets the horrors or war, stress, and possibly
death.
For choosing not to fight, one gets subjugation, humiliation, and
possibly death.
Choose your fights carefully.

I learned how to spell frou-frou today. Too funny.

I told my older sister about a great recipe I picked up, and she called me a
metro.

I explained to her that in my closet are 12 identical navy blue sweatshirts,
and probably 8 identical pairs of Levi's.
I haven't found any other brand that hold up that well in a machine shop.
I shave most days, others, I could care less what I look like.
My hair dryer is from 1982, because, I use it just that much.
The older I get, the shorter the haircuts I get.
I drink beers I drink most are made in the state, country, or continent
where I reside.
(OK, I like Irish and German beer, but hey, these guys wrote the book on
beer.)
I hang out in one of those bars, with eleven stools, where you walk in, and
the barkeep has already opened my beer and placed it where I like to sit.
I have owned at least one pickup truck since 1988.
I'm amused by people that wear workboots and Carhart coats as fashion.
I thought they were a necessity due to their durability.
When I bought my last Carhart jacket, at a local discount place, the guy
next to me told me watch out, some of the jackets have a cosmetic flaw. He
was nice enough to show me.
The next day, I was going to be putting sheeting on a 12/12 pitch roof in
West Virginia in October.
This guy was worried about a knot of thread smaller than a pimple.
My biggest splurge this year was on 300lbs of stainless steel tool boxes.
I shoot handguns competitively, in the top 10% of my club, for five years.
A Canadian told me I own too many guns. I was so proud.
I don't hunt, because I don't have to, but know I could if I needed to.
I think animals make good food.
Metro this.

Please feel free to be as frou-frou as you want.
Don't insist on teaching my country's children that this is perfectly
normal.
Don't expect any special benefits, medical, dental, financial, etc., because
you woke up one day confused about your sexuality.



"Clark Magnuson" wrote in message
...



A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your
home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.
Git-r-done



A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if
need be.

Git-r-done


A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed
to conceal himself from prey.

Git-r-done

A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't
hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you
can -
or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you be.

Git-r-done



A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are
riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEALING
WITH IT.
Plus it's just plain fun to shoot!

GIT-R-DONE!!!



A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen
utensils.

Git-r-done

A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he
wants. [Wherever it lands is where he damn well wanted it to land!]

Git-r-done


A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he
does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes
in
the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT.

Git-r-done


-- Author unknown--

Larry the cable guy

--
For choosing to fight, one gets the horrors or war, stress, and possibly
death.
For choosing not to fight, one gets subjugation, humiliation, and possibly
death.
Choose your fights carefully.

"Gunner" wrote in message
...

Subject: The Retrosexual Movement
A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not
understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they
offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when
married/engaged in a
serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting,
shooting,
cigars, car maintenance.


Which raises an interesting generational divide that was only recently
driven home to me.

Try this:

List your hobbies/ interests/ pastimes/ diversions/ passions.
Stick to legal ones, or at least ones which you would be prepared to admit
to in public.
Try to restrict yourself to one page.

Now:

Ask a 14-18 year old male the same question.
Don't accept "nyeeaaahh...shrug" as an answer.
Persist.
Prompt.
Ignore Playstation/ video games/ internet (etc) or at least group them as
one: "Computer".

Celebrate if you can get more than two on the list.
Congratulate his parents if he can list more than four.


....then ponder on the "Devil makes work for idle hands" statement.

--
Jeff R.

On Sun, 08 Jan 2006 20:36:17 GMT, Gunner
wrote:

Subject: The Retrosexual Movement

Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell
"ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the
culture wars,


You forgot FART
Gerry :-)}
London, Canada

In article ,
Gunner wrote:

Subject: The Retrosexual Movement


I've taken all I can stand and I can't stand any more!


Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is effeminate men
prancing about, redecorating houses and talking about foreign
concepts like "style" and "feng shui!"


Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual,
non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual bogus definitions have
taken over the urban and suburban world!


Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your butt, belch, and yell
"ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the
culture wars,

Don't forget fart! If we can't fart, I'm sittin' out!

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tire, break-in into your
home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.


A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.

A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman.
Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need
an endcap (possibly 2 endcaps if you include shaving goods).

Hmmm... Not quite applicable in my current "Grizzly Adams"-esque state
of hirsuteness. No shave-goods required, but the shampoo bill goes up a
smidge.

A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if
need be.


This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.

A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are
riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEALING
WITH IT.
Plus it's just plain fun to shoot!

And the whole gun pew stands up and shouts "Preach it, Brutha!"

I think you overlooked an important point in the manifesto, though -

A Retrosexual calls it like it is - PC is for wusses and losers that
need to grow a hide. Polite is fine, but hiding everything that might be
offensive to anybody in euphemism just isn't the Retrosexual way.

--
Don Bruder - - If your "From:" address isn't on my whitelist,
or the subject of the message doesn't contain the exact text "PopperAndShadow"
somewhere, any message sent to this address will go in the garbage without my
ever knowing it arrived. Sorry... http://www.sonic.net/~dakidd for more info

In article , Gunner says...

include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in
his better
days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy,
Scarface, The
Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III,
Full
Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt,

Real men drive their own cars in movies like Bullitt.

Too bad Steve McQueen doesn't qualify for that honor.
Where's Bud Ekins when ya need him!!

Jim


--
==================================================
please reply to:
JRR(zero) at pkmfgvm4 (dot) vnet (dot) ibm (dot) com
==================================================

Jon Grimm wrote:

I drink beers I drink most are made in the state, country, or continent
where I reside.

Mexico is close enough tonight

--
For choosing to fight, one gets the horrors or war, stress, and possibly
death.
For choosing not to fight, one gets subjugation, humiliation, and
possibly death.
Choose your fights carefully.

HEHEH

with myself at the ripe old age of 26 i can agree with a lot of that

But i'm an oddity

How many kids now adays would ahve been taught responsible boating to
the point of letting them go out alone in a 10 foot aluminum boat lake
full of weekend warrins in boats that can kick up 1-2 foot wakes.

It never really set in as to how small the boat was till i was 20 and
had to move it in the fall and i just picked the darn thing up myself
and carried it with one arm.

but to reinforce the generational divide theory my grandfather had a
huge hand in raising me

But i refust to wade into the politics thats rank in this group it is a
metalworking group pride and craftsmanship arent out of place in there
(Like the Monarch restoral)

But Politics should be left at the shop door with the overcoats and rings

Jeff R wrote:
"Gunner" wrote in message
...


Subject: The Retrosexual Movement
A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not
understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they
offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when
married/engaged in a
serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting,
shooting,
cigars, car maintenance.



Which raises an interesting generational divide that was only recently
driven home to me.

Try this:

List your hobbies/ interests/ pastimes/ diversions/ passions.
Stick to legal ones, or at least ones which you would be prepared to admit
to in public.
Try to restrict yourself to one page.

Now:

Ask a 14-18 year old male the same question.
Don't accept "nyeeaaahh...shrug" as an answer.
Persist.
Prompt.
Ignore Playstation/ video games/ internet (etc) or at least group them as
one: "Computer".

Celebrate if you can get more than two on the list.
Congratulate his parents if he can list more than four.


....then ponder on the "Devil makes work for idle hands" statement.

--
Jeff R.

"jim rozen" wrote in message
...
In article , Gunner says...

include any of the Dirty Harry or Nameless Drifter movies (Clint in
his better
days), Rambo I or II, the Dirty Dozen, The Godfather trilogy,
Scarface, The
Road Warrior, The Die Hard series, Caddyshack, Rocky I, II, or III,
Full
Metal Jacket, any James Bond Movie, Raging Bull, Bullitt,

Real men drive their own cars in movies like Bullitt.

Too bad Steve McQueen doesn't qualify for that honor.
Where's Bud Ekins when ya need him!!

Bud wuz crashin th' bike!

Gunner wrote:



The Retrosexual Movement
Is this actually your idea? If so, it is goddamned brilliant!
Thanks,

Jon

Dear Mr. Dalrymple (OK, Gunner),

(scratch, scratch) (burp)

I don't watch TV and use only shampoo for just about everything; even
washing my Smart Wool. I only shave my face, and occasionally my head,
never my eyebrows. My favorite wound is the one in my right leg; I got
it demonstrating to a stripper that the live cartridges she wore on
stage, and carried home, were inapproriately stored for a house with
children and no father. I didn't cry about it. We poured Dom on it to
sterilize it and took a picture.

I've never sued anybody. I cried when my first lover died; she was
Teri's sister. I don't even know what a Windsor knot is; there is only
one way to tie a tie, although mathematicians have identified other
possiblities. I know what a bowline is and can tie a carrick hitch if I
think about it. I know the difference between a sheet and rope, between
a hitch and a knot, and between a matrix and a tensor. I abhor violence
but not weaponry. I've always sharpened my own knives. The last time I
made a fire in the woods was two days ago.

I open doors and give up my seat for anybody working harder than I am.
That includes a lot of people; some are elderly, some are carrying a
weapon or a backpack, or are returning home from doing so, or getting
ready to do so, some are just confused about what bus or planet they
are on, or should be on; some are pregnant, or might be, or have been.

I know how to prepare meat without ruining it with a damn glandular
secretion or some intestinal contents and I thank God and resident
labor for not having to do it myself most of the time.

I can drill a straight hole through a diamond with a diamond, and would
if anybody ever wanted to hang my diamond around their neck, but so
far, this has not come up. I've always been comfortable with my gender
and am confused only by those who think others aren't. I don't know
about anybody else's Dad, but mine paid plenty of attention to me.
Before he died two years ago I told him I wouldn't let the last thing
on earth he did be to hurt me; I think he was comforted by that.

I'm more interested in watching the grass grow than turning back the
clock, but if you are handing out membership cards for your new
Movement, I'd be proud to carry one.

Actually what I like best about watching the grass grow, on a windy
day, is seeing how the pressure changes move at closer to the speed of
sound, while the air is moving at only a few miles per hour, but that's
just me.

Doug Goncz
Replikon Research
Falls Church, VA 22044-0394

wrote:
Dear Mr. Dalrymple (OK, Gunner),

(scratch, scratch) (burp)

I don't watch TV and use only shampoo for just about everything; even
washing my Smart Wool. I only shave my face, and occasionally my head,
never my eyebrows. My favorite wound is the one in my right leg; I got
it demonstrating to a stripper that the live cartridges she wore on
stage, and carried home, were inapproriately stored for a house with
children and no father. I didn't cry about it. We poured Dom on it to
sterilize it and took a picture.

I've never sued anybody. I cried when my first lover died; she was
Teri's sister. I don't even know what a Windsor knot is; there is only
one way to tie a tie, although mathematicians have identified other

SNIP

You are one of my heros, Doug.

AL A.