When God created Adam, Adam became awful bored. With all the meandering
about naming animals and dwelling among the trees, he became awful
lonely.

Adam said, "God, I'm lonely."

God Said, "I have the perfect plan. I'll create the perfect woman. The
woman will do whatever you want. She will cook, clean, never complain,
only speak when spoken to. This woman is perfect!"

Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"

God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg."
Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"

man was not complete until god made woman. then he was finished.

randy

"Matt" wrote in message
oups.com...
When God created Adam, Adam became awful bored. With all the meandering
about naming animals and dwelling among the trees, he became awful
lonely.

Adam said, "God, I'm lonely."

God Said, "I have the perfect plan. I'll create the perfect woman. The
woman will do whatever you want. She will cook, clean, never complain,
only speak when spoken to. This woman is perfect!"

Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"

God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg."
Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"

"xrongor" wrote in message
...
man was not complete until god made woman. then he was finished.

randy

"Matt" wrote in message
oups.com...
When God created Adam, Adam became awful bored. With all the meandering
about naming animals and dwelling among the trees, he became awful
lonely.

Adam said, "God, I'm lonely."

God Said, "I have the perfect plan. I'll create the perfect woman. The
woman will do whatever you want. She will cook, clean, never complain,
only speak when spoken to. This woman is perfect!"

Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"

God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg."
Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"




Man doesn't know true happiness until he gets married. Then it's too late.

Matt wrote:
When God created Adam, Adam became awful bored. With all the
meandering
about naming animals and dwelling among the trees, he became awful
lonely.

Adam said, "God, I'm lonely."

God Said, "I have the perfect plan. I'll create the perfect woman.
The
woman will do whatever you want. She will cook, clean, never
complain,
only speak when spoken to. This woman is perfect!"

Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"

God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg."
Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"



And God has a sense of humor!

Proverbs 25:24
It is better to live on the roof than to share a house with a nagging
wife.

Bob S. wrote:

And God has a sense of humor!

Proverbs 25:24
It is better to live on the roof than to share a house with a nagging
wife.

Not only. Consider the gall bladder.

In article .com,
"Matt" wrote:

- When God created Adam, Adam became awful bored. With all the meandering
- about naming animals and dwelling among the trees, he became awful
- lonely.
-
- Adam said, "God, I'm lonely."
-
- God Said, "I have the perfect plan. I'll create the perfect woman. The
- woman will do whatever you want. She will cook, clean, never complain,
- only speak when spoken to. This woman is perfect!"
-
- Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"
-
- God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg."
- Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"


http://www.intergant.com/malebashing/
--
8^)~~~ Sue (remove the x to e-mail)
~~~~~~
"I reserve the absolute right to be smarter
today than I was yesterday." -Adlai Stevenson

http://www.suzanne-eckhardt.com/
***Revelation 22:12*** ICQ: 349878998
http://www.intergnat.com/pussygames/

Proverbs 25:24
It is better to live on the roof than to share a house with a nagging
wife.

Did GOD write that????

or did the guys putting the bible to gether have a sense of humor?




Remove "YOURPANTIES" to reply

MUADIB®

http://www.angelfire.com/retro/sster...IN%20PAGE.html

one small step for man,.....
One giant leap for attorneys.

God is coming, and boy! is she ****ed!

Stone

"Yenc-Post 2002" wrote in message
news:1107404901.a91d185a16c8905472b85944868ea7e7@b ubbanews...
"Matt" wrote in
oups.com:

When God created Adam, Adam became awful bored. With all the meandering
about naming animals and dwelling among the trees, he became awful
lonely.

Adam said, "God, I'm lonely."

God Said, "I have the perfect plan. I'll create the perfect woman. The
woman will do whatever you want. She will cook, clean, never complain,
only speak when spoken to. This woman is perfect!"

Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"

God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg."
Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"



Men are like....
1.... Laxatives ... They irritate the **** out of you.
2.... Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3.... Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.
4.... Blenders ... You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
5.... Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your
hips.
6.... Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.
7.... Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8.... Government Bonds ... They take sooo long to mature.
9.... Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10.... Popcorn ...They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11.... Snowstorms ...You never know when they're coming, how many inches
you'll get or how long it will last.
12.... Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13....Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are
handicapped.

In article ,
"John‰]* ************************************************** *************"
wrote:

- Proverbs 25:24
- It is better to live on the roof than to share a house with a nagging
- wife.
-
- ...but the news just keeps getting worse: http://tinyurl.com/4yx2z


Well, that was, um, interesting. (And quite entertaining.)
--
8^)~~~ Sue (remove the x to e-mail)
~~~~~~
"I reserve the absolute right to be smarter
today than I was yesterday." -Adlai Stevenson

http://www.suzanne-eckhardt.com/
***Revelation 22:12*** ICQ: 349878998
http://www.intergnat.com/malebashing/

What is the difference between girls aged:

8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?

At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!

050202 1108 - xrongor posted:

man was not complete until god made woman. then he was finished.

randy

"Matt" wrote in message
oups.com...
When God created Adam, Adam became awful bored. With all the meandering
about naming animals and dwelling among the trees, he became awful
lonely.

Adam said, "God, I'm lonely."

God Said, "I have the perfect plan. I'll create the perfect woman. The
woman will do whatever you want. She will cook, clean, never complain,
only speak when spoken to. This woman is perfect!"

Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"

God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg."
Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"



And God created woman; and she had 3 breasts. She went to the pond and
looked at her reflection in the clear water. God asked her what she
thought. She held the middle breast in her hand and said that she didn't
think that she needed this one. He gestured and it came off in her hands.
She again looked at her reflection in the pond and approved, but exclaimed:
"What can I do with this useless boob?"

And God created man.

050203 0416 - Gary Stone posted:

God is coming, and boy! is she ****ed!


She's not coming...

What Are Politics?

A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are politics?"
His dad replies, " Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family
so I am capatilism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is
government. The government is the provider for the people so you are
the people. Your baby brother will be the future, and the nanny is the
working class. Now think about that."

So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in
his daiper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom
asleep in the bed. He didn't want to wake her, so he went to the nanny.
The door was locked. He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed
with the nanny. He went back to bed. The next morning, he went to his
dad and said, "Dad i know what you mean now."

"You do? Tell me."

"OK, while capatilism is screwing the working class, the government is
sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped
on!!!"

Jerr wrote:


snipped


Man doesn't know true happiness until he gets married. Then it's too late.





My mother's favorite words of wisdom we

"No house is large enough to hold two women."

*****************************

I Received this one just this morning....

*****************************

WORDS WOMEN USE (A tutorial for men.)

******************************

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when
they are right and you need to shut up.

FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five
minutes is only five minutes if you have just been
given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping
around the house.

NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means
"something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments
that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"

GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal
statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh"
means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she
is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
over "Nothing"

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a
woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she
wants to think long and hard before deciding how and
when you will pay for your mistake.

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint.
Just say you're welcome.

**************************************

Jeff

--
Jeffry Wisnia

(W1BSV + Brass Rat '57 EE)

"As long as there are final exams, there will be prayer in public
schools"

I thought you said your mama drowned all the dumb babies? If so, why
are you still here?

"Jeff Wisnia" wrote in message
...
Jerr wrote:

snipped

Man doesn't know true happiness until he gets married. Then it's too
late.



My mother's favorite words of wisdom we

"No house is large enough to hold two women."

*****************************



And then there is: "Marriage is an institution. Any that gets married
belongs in one".

Or "Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to spend the rest
of his life in an institution?"

Perce

On 02/03/05 01:26 pm Jerr tossed the following ingredients into the
ever-growing pot of cybersoup:

And then there is: "Marriage is an institution. Any that gets married
belongs in one".

Matt wrote:
What is the difference between girls aged:

8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68?

At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.

Get back to us when you're over 18, sweetie.

Well then, I guess a blowjob is out of the question.

STFU and then FOAD and die, Norman.

It's FOAD.

Please feel free to lick my left nut, Robert.

[quote=MUADIB®]
Proverbs 25:24
It is better to live on the roof than to share a house with a nagging
wife.

Did GOD write that????

or did the guys putting the bible to gether have a sense of humor?

No, like most of the bible , God didn't write it. With 700 wives and 300 concubines, Solomon probably knew something about woman.

"Bob S." wrote in message
oups.com...
Adam says, "Great! What's a woman like that cost?"

God replies, "Only an Arm and a leg."
Adam says, "What can I get for a rib?"



And God has a sense of humor!

Proverbs 25:24
It is better to live on the roof than to share a house with a nagging
wife.


Ya but the bitch won't let you stay on the roof....

I believe that OJ did the right thing....Think about it.
He was paying something like $25,000.00 a month in
child support and hardly ever got to see the kids.

No he pays ZERO in child support and sees the kids whenever
he wants.

OJ is my hero.

I'm not gay as you are.

I don't know about that, Robert!

Think about it.

Robert is a pretty ****ing gay name all on it's own... but
robertpatrick? Sounds like the walton brother who we never got a chance
to see, because the other waltons and the town strung the little queer
boy up.

Now, as I said - come lick my left nut, gay boy.

050204 1249 - Matt posted:

I'm not gay as you are.

I don't know about that, Robert!

Think about it.

Robert is a pretty ****ing gay name all on it's own... but
robertpatrick? Sounds like the walton brother who we never got a chance
to see, because the other waltons and the town strung the little queer
boy up.

Now, as I said - come lick my left nut, gay boy.


You must be an hvac guy; I've seen them talk that way...

Are you a dyke?