Home Repair (alt.home.repair) For all homeowners and DIYers with many experienced tradesmen. Solve your toughest home fix-it problems.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #2   Report Post  
Oscar_Lives
 
Posts: n/a
Default

His wife is pretty hot, but she doesn't moan like your wife does.


"Ike" wrote in message
...
Strange. Same exact thing happened to me, too, but mine broke the
blade. My wife must be hotter than your wife.

On Mon, 30 Aug 2004 02:07:40 -0500 wrote :

When I took woodshop in High School they always warned us about
getting our fingers too close to the saw blade on any power saw we
used. I learned quickly to keep my fingers away as far as possible.
They also cautioned us about having loose clothing when we operated
power tools. And of course we all learned to wear safety glasses when
using any tool. Throughout my life since High School I have practiced
these basic principles, whenever I use a power tool. I have never had
an accident until this past July. Actually it was the fourth of July,
and my wife and I planned to go see the fireworks that evening. I was
determined to hang the new bedroom door, and was rushing because it
would soon be time for fireworks. Little did I know that I'd end up
in the hospital during the fireworks display.

It went something like this. I was sawing off the bottom of the door
when my wife suddenly came rushing toward me. She told me that our
dog was in heat, and stated that it excited her to see the dog so
worked up, and went on to say "it must be contagious". I asked her
what exactly she was trying to tell me, when she reached over and
unzipped my pants. I knew right away that she too was in heat.

Wanting to finish sawing off the door, I told her to get undressed and
crawl in bed, and I'd be with her in a minute or two. She couldn't
wait. She reached into my pants and flung our my cock, just as my saw
reached the end of the door. That's when the accident occurred. I
felt severe pain as I saw my cock hit the wall, along with a large
amount of blood. I looked down and realized my cock was no longer
part of my body. That's when I went into shock, and do not recall
anything until I awoke in the hospital, many hours later. That is
also when I got the dreaded news. My cock was damaged so badly that
it could not be saved.

This has changed my whole life. I angrily blamed my High School shop
teacher, because after all those warnings about keeping fingers away,
and wearing safety glasses, never once did he warn us about keeping
our cock in our pants while operating a power saw. To add insult to
injury, my wife just told me she wants a divorce. She just told me
today that she left her last husband after he pointed a sawed off
shotgun at her. Now, as she put it "I now got another husband with a
sawed off gun".

Speaking of guns. After I fully recover from this, I am going to look
up my wifes ex-husband, along with his gun. I am going to hire him to
go after my shop teacher and teach him a thing or two. However, this
may not be possible since I was recently told that he died.
Apparently he bled to death in shop class, a few years after I
graduated, and from what I heard, his body was discovered after school
hours, by the school principal, along with my female english teacher,
and both were undressed.

I hope you found this story shocking, and learned to never let your
cock out of your pants while running a power tool. I suppose you are
wondering if this story is true. Well, I am not sure myself. You
see, my memory has sort of faded since the accident. To answer that
question, I'd have to unzip my pants and take a look for myself. But
you see, I can't do that right now, because I'm using my computer,
which is a power tool. I am also wearing some real foggy safety
glasses which make it rather hard to see.

So, I am going to leave, and leave you with this little tidbit. I
thank my english teacher for allowing me to write this, and thank my
shop teacher that I still have ten fingers to type with.

At the same time, I continue to cuss at the son of a bitch that didn't
clean these safety glasses the last time they used them.

SAFETY FIRST (even during sex).

Ryan (The mad typist)




Reply
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules

Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dangers of connecting load between live and earth Abdullah Eyles UK diy 18 September 5th 03 10:43 AM
Dangers of Sawdust e.ontiveros Woodworking 15 August 29th 03 02:42 AM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 08:11 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 DIYbanter.
The comments are property of their posters.
 

About Us

"It's about DIY & home improvement"