OK.....

So ahm happier'n'a alcoholic workin the night shift in a Jack Daniels
distillery.... with my 400# deep cycle battery, 1500 W inverter (sitting
in the back seat of m'truck), and my brand new blue electric
blankey-poo.....
Now I can curl up in a fetal position -- in m'truck -- in compleat toasty
comfort.....

Now, don't ax me WHY I gotta curl up in a fetal position -- in m'truck.
Just suffice it to say, if you had my yob, you'd be curling up in a fetal
position in YOUR truck, too.

Except for one thing.....
My g-d electric blankeypoo dudn't WORK with my 1500 W fukn inverter!!!!!
WTF??????

And the reason quickly became clear: some electronics don't work with
modified (read: ****) sine wave power.
But, what electronics are in a g-d electric blanket???

So I take apart the three-heat controller, and lo and behold, the goddamm
thing looks like the motherboard of a small PC.... holy ****.... for a
$25 blankeypoo????

Tryna sleuth out the ""circuitry"" of this electric blanket reminds me of
the two days I spent tryna fix a $2.00 flashlight.... unsuccessfully....
holy ****....
The blanket has three wires between it and the controller, but only two of
the wires register continuity!! From which I surmised, via advanced Ohm's
Law, that there is only one element in the blanket, and the controller
actually does control voltage/current, ie, no switching among elements, cuz,
well, there's only one element.
..
AND, the resistance is in fact the "right" resistance, cuz the wattage is 60
W (1/2 amp), and the ohms measure 230.

So now I got an extree wire that I don't know wtf it does, amidst my awe of
all this goddamm gratuitous complexity.

Now, I do have an inkling surrounding this latest Conspiracy of Gratuitous
Complexity -- whose fundamental purpose is, of course, to ass**** the entire
Global Population up to their collective ileocecal valves, so that Orwell
looks like summer fukn camp.
It appears that this particular example (this blue electric blanket) of
Gratuitous Complexity has to do with..... shudder shudder SAFETY!!!!!
And of course the li'l CHILDREN.......

Btw, a brief digression:
You DO know that they now make crawling helmets for toddlers??? Yes
indeedy, google helmets for babies crawling , and pick your link.
Better yet, ORDER yours, right away, so's when you take the li'l future Wall
Street predator-to-be to Montessori for his (first) pre-school interview,
you'll be showing up correck.
You yourself and the spouse should also wear matching bicycle helmets, as
well, just to show Montessori that the whole Beaver family is indeed
correck.....

Back to this g-d blanket bidniss....
This **** blanket, for safety (it is UL listed btw), SHUTS OFF
automatically EVERY GODDAMM HOUR!!!!WTF?????

I mean, look, the g-d blanket is a *whole 60 effingW*!!!! My goddamm BODY
puts out more heat than that....
fyi, Your BMR of about 1 cal/min is actually nearly exactly 70 W of heat....
which is why 10 blustering assholes in a meeting room make the place so
goddamm hot.

So some dumb QA engineering ****head sed, Oh, OH, 60 W -- spread over **24
sq ft of g-d blanket**, no less -- is MUCH too dangerous!!!!
Sheeit, in that case, my 70 W of body heat puts me at risk for
self-immolation, right???

Fuuuuuuuck, they couldn't have timed it for 8 hours?? 6 hours???? 4
hours????? WTF???????

So now, some while after the blanket shuts off, I'll freeze my goddamm ass
off, have furtive nightmares, wake up, and flail around for the controller,
just to reset it.
So now I can't even g-d SLEEP worth a goddamm, in my fetal position -- and
if you knew how long it takes me to get in that fetal position (in m'truck),
you'd realize this is really a significant issue.

OK.... so NOW ahm gettin it:
SAFETY, and our precious li'l bratty g-d CHILDREN, require a solidstate
automatic safety controller. ****ty li'l dropping resistors, or a xsformer,
or split heating elements, just won't do it anymore.
Now, they got a g-d controller in a $25 electric blanket that could have
gotten Neil Armstrong to the g-d moon.

Well, let me tell you, no one, but NO ONE messes with Angst's fetal
position/sleep....

So I took that controller off (via the detachable connector) and
hard-wire-crimped a **** 18 ga wire with a **** 99c-store two-in-a-pack
unpolarized plug, so now's I got *60 uninterrupted W* of blazing power,
blasting thru my li'l blue blankeypoo. What a fukn triumph.....

My gripe against Gratuitous Complexity harks back to my erstwhile 1971
Datsun 510, which got better gas mileage than almost every effing car out
here today, ceptin Volts'n'Prius'n'****, and mebbe that VW TDI motor....
AND, I could fix it my goddamm self.
And I think I drove around Hawaii about 25 g-d times in a Datsun B-210, on a
gallon of gas.

Now, cars are so fukn complicated.....

HOW COMPLICATED ARE THEY???????

Cars are so fukn complicated, that factory Toyoter mechanics make more money
than asshole college puhfessuhs..... AS THEY RIGHTLY SHOULD, cuz college
professors are just absolutely fukn useless. goodgawd..... What a sham
the college credit is, and a bankrupting sham at that.

Cars now weigh 50% more than in the 70s.... and you can't even adjust the
g-d IDLE!!!!
Well, you can, I spose, with a laptop and about $1,000 worth of g-d
programming.....

Part of the Conspiracy behind Gratuitous Complexity is, imo, the desire to
shut out the small entreepreeneer, bidnissman. A good fraction of the
people on these ng's could *make their own perfectly navigable electric
car*, with a welder, lathe, milling machine, some fukn batteries and a
motor. Or mebbe just a welder, drill press, and an angle grinder....
But fukn Chevrolet and Nisan barely got *their* electric cars out, the
regulatory ante is so goddamm high. Near $40K for a g-d electric motor and
a bunch of g-d batteries....

So, inyway, Angst finally has his new blue blankeypoo blazing away, and I'll
be fellatingly positioning myself in peaceful bliss tonite, in m'truck, with
my 400# marine battery/1500W inverter right behind my blissful head.

Oh ****, did I say "fellatingly"??? That would be "fetally", "fetally
positioning myself in peaceful bliss".....
--
EA