Nope, it's not mice or rats this time.

It's large animals that make the whole house vibrate when they walk
around. I called in the pros, and they said that whatever was in my
attic was larger than they are equipped to deal with, and they left
after handing me a bill for $378 for coming to my home. I then knew it
was up to me and some technology to find these critters.......

I went to Best Buy and bought the gear. The nerds that work there
wanted me to buy an extended warranty for $150. I told them to shove
it!

I got home, ready for war, and set up all this equipment.
Upon careful examination, using a telephoto lens, microphones, and
closed circuit tv camera, I found the suspects.

There were two of them.

1. A donkey
2. An elephant

And they were beating the crap out of each other in my attic!!!!

Using a rope and a pair of gloves, I roped them, and transported them in
the back of my SUV to the Whitehouse in Washington, where I released
them on the front lawn!!!!

I wonder, could this have anything to do with the upcoming election?