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#1
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Exploding Children Alert
Someone dressed to look like Santa Claus has been dropping objects
that resemble red-hots candy on children throughout the United States. Once the child eats this object, it takes exactly eight seconds and the child explodes, leaving no remains. Thousands of children have already exploded, and it's estimated that as many as 200,000 more children have these look-alike candies. Children have exploded in every state in the US, and several have been reported to have exploded in Canada and Mexico. An anonymous letter was found attached to a small pouch of these fake candies and it states that on December 25th at exactly midnight these children will return to their homes, but they will be reindeers for the remainder of their lives. No one knows if this is true, or someone wrote this letter as a prank. The FBI is investigating, but so far they have no leads about the whereabouts of these children or why these phoney candies make them explode. It is known that when adults eat them, nothing happens. The Federal governmental officials are asking for the help of all Americans. If you see any objects which resemble these candies, please take them to your local police immediately. If you see any children explode, please take note, and take a photo if possible. This is becoming an epidemic. Please keep your children at home, and keep them safely locked up, until this over. This is a serious matter and the government needs all leads and tips. If you see something that might pertain to this, please contact your local law enforcement immediately. Keep your children safe, lock them up immediately. If your child explodes, please contact the FBI and be sure to file a claim with your insurance company. Replacement children will be available after the first of the year, but supplies are limited. Presently there are only 1000 replacements available. As a parent of an exploded child, you will be required to bid on Ebay for your replacement child. This will be a bid and bid again auction, not a Buy it Now offer.Shipping and handling are extra. Be sure to have a valid Ebay account if you lost your child from explosion. Poachers will not be allowed to bid on Ebay for replacement children. BEWARE this Santa terrorist is armed and dangerous. |
#2
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Exploding Children Alert
But, if there clothing remains behind, they did not explode ... they are "raptured" and you are "left behind." |
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