so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

From: "§§§Raven§§§" "
Subject: The Ant & Grasshopper 2003
Date: Sunday, October 12, 2003 8:42 AM


CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his

house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the

summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.

The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!



MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his

house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the

summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and

demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed

while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, ABC, and CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering

grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a

table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How

can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is

allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody

cries when they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where

the news stations film the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse then

has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Tom Daschle &Walter Mondale exclaim in an interview with Peter Jennings

that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both

call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair

share."

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"

retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing

to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to

pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a

defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of

federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare

recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of

the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens

to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't

maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the house,

now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once

peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican



--

Christopher A. Young
Do good work.
It's longer in the short run
but shorter in the long run.
..
..


"fsteddie" wrote in message
...
so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER
The Original Version..

The ant busts his ass in the withering heat all summer long, building
his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper
thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food
or shelter so he dies out in the cold.


The New Liberal Version...

It starts out the same but when winter comes the shivering grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be
allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
CBS, NBC, and ABC show up and show pictures of the shivering
grasshopper next to film of the ant in his comfortable home with a
table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can it be, in a country
of such wealth that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
Then a representative of the NAAGB (The National Association of Green
Bugs) shows up on Night Line and charges the ant with "Green Bias" and
makes the case that the grasshopper is the victim of 30 million years
of greenism. Kermit the frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and
everybody cries when he sings "It's Not Easy Being Green."

Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
evening news and tell a concerned Dan Rather That they will do
everything they can for the grasshopper who has been denied the
prosperity he deserves by those who benefited unfairly during the
summer, or as Bill refers to it, the "Temperatures Of The 80's".

Finally the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Greenism Act"
RECTRO-ACTIVE to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and having
nothing left to pay his Retro-Active taxes, his home is confiscated by
the government.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of
the ant's food while the government house he's in....which just
happens to be the ant's old house.... crumbles around him since he
doesn't know how to maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow.
And on the TV; which the grasshopper bought by selling most of the
ant's food, Bill Clinton is standing before a wildly applauding group
of Democrats announcing that a new era of "Fairness" has dawned in
America.

THE END

Author Jim Quinn, WRRK FM 97 in Pittsburgh



The New Orleans Version...

It starts out the same but when winter comes the shivering grasshopper
is loaded on to a bus, and taken to Houston, to live in the Super
Dome. He lives in miserable situation, and complains endlessly about
his plight. He is released to Dallas, and given a $2,000 debit card,
which he promptly spends on grass, greens, and wine and beer. He is
found dead in an alley, having died of cirrhosis of the liver.

Bill and Hillary Clinton make a special guest appearance on the CBS
evening news and tell a concerned Dan Rather That they will do
everything they can for the grasshopper who has been driven out of his
home. At the expense of those who benefited unfairly in New Orleans.

Finally the FEMA and National Guard guys get around to the ant's home.
The hard working ant is found to be hoarding, and is handcuffed, and
dragged out. The National Guard finds stores of grains, and other
foods and water. The grains, food, and water are loaded onto trucks,
and taken back to FEMA headquarters. Where the grains sit in a
warehouse.

The ant is tried under anti-hoarding laws, and his home is confiscated
by the government.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper's remains rotting in an
alley. The ant is relocated to a FEMA camp in Idaho, where he lives a
long, and bitter life. Complaining endlessly about what hard work got
him.

THE END

Author Christopher Young, Sept 09, 2005
Copyright © 2005 Christopher A. Young
All Rights Reserved

Thank you for visiting!




"fsteddie" wrote in message
...
so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

Next year, go ask him for a couple case of beer "cause he has so much and he
can afford to share"

--

Christopher A. Young
Do good work.
It's longer in the short run
but shorter in the long run.
..
..


"fsteddie" wrote in message
...
so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

"fsteddie" wrote in message
...
so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?


I would say your the average Working Class guy that gets sick and tired of
" SLOTH'S" trying get everything for nothing. I'm sure he beat a couple poor
working class guys into the ground for his $15,000 and shined all the way.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

No, just a bit rude. Simply telling him you needed it all would have been
adequate.

fsteddie wrote:
so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?


Perfectly reasonable. Did you ask him where he planned to put the ashes
when he was done with it?

clipped
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

Well, when the flood comes and all the ants and grasshoppers
are drowning because they did not plan and prepare for every
eventuality, you won't care which one is driving the boat
that carries your sorry ass to dry land. Drop in at a Red Cross
shelter and see if all of the volunteers are grasshoppers )

fsteddie writes:

so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

No, you are a bad business man.

Find out what a cord of wood goes for and offer
to sell him what you have at twice the going rate.

Well put, IMHO. Pithy, not ****y & whiny with all the left/right
liberal/reactionary crap.

Do charge for delivery, too.

Ever hear the one about the Mainer who set some black-powder charges in
some pieces of firewood in his pile, for just such a neighbor? After a
big puff of smoke up the neighbor's chimney one night, his losses
ceased.

J

writes:

Well put, IMHO. Pithy, not ****y & whiny with all the left/right
liberal/reactionary crap.

Is this cross posted to alt.rave.like.a.lunatic?
Nope, didn't think so.
Some people...

Do charge for delivery, too.

Ever hear the one about the Mainer who set some black-powder charges in
some pieces of firewood in his pile, for just such a neighbor? After a
big puff of smoke up the neighbor's chimney one night, his losses
ceased.

Careful there, sounds like an IED.

fsteddie wrote:
so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

If you live in Florida, you could just shoot him when he sets foot on
your property and tell the court you thought he was attacking.

Dan Espen wrote:
fsteddie writes:

so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

No, you are a bad business man.

Find out what a cord of wood goes for and offer
to sell him what you have at twice the going rate.

Then sell him a bunch of green wood, and next spring offer to take it
back for half of what he paid.

"z" writes:

Dan Espen wrote:
fsteddie writes:

so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of his own.
He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

No, you are a bad business man.

Find out what a cord of wood goes for and offer
to sell him what you have at twice the going rate.

Then sell him a bunch of green wood, and next spring offer to take it
back for half of what he paid.

I like the way you think but
what business operates like that?

Make him pay you to take it back.

z wrote:
fsteddie wrote:
so I put away 6 cord of firewood in april,worked my ass off,,

Today my sloth neighbor asked me if he could "borrow" some
of my firewood this winter, because he was to busey to get any of
his own. He watched me pile and stack this wood while he drank beer
In june he told me his company gave him a $15,000.00 bonus.

I TOLD HIM TO **** OFF
am I a bad person?

If you live in Florida, you could just shoot him when he sets foot on
your property and tell the court you thought he was attacking.

Your property line is irrelevant to the concept of self-defense. You can
kill someone while they remain on their property, across the street, or on
the moon, if you feel your life is in immediate danger.

When the cops arrive, tell them: "I'm too upset to talk about it. I think
I'm having a heart-attack. I need to go to the hospital. Moan!"

no not a bad person for denying a rich guy some wood, maybe a little
rude...... but then again, maybe thats the relationship you want to have
with him. lucas

http://www.minibite.com/america/malone.htm

Sulphur works, too.

--

Christopher A. Young
Do good work.
It's longer in the short run
but shorter in the long run.
..
..


wrote in message
ups.com...
Well put, IMHO. Pithy, not ****y & whiny with all the left/right
liberal/reactionary crap.

Do charge for delivery, too.

Ever hear the one about the Mainer who set some black-powder charges in
some pieces of firewood in his pile, for just such a neighbor? After a
big puff of smoke up the neighbor's chimney one night, his losses
ceased.

J