How to use a breast pump?
 

wrote in message
...
Last weekend I bought myself a breast pump at a chain store that was
going out of business. It looked like something fun to own, so I
bought it. Now that the weekend is here, I just took it out the box
and am trying to use it, but I found out there are no instructions and
the business is now closed forever. I just called my mother and my
ex-wife and neither of them have ever used one. Can anyone tell me
how?


"Park's closed! Moose out front should have told you......."

Last weekend I bought myself a breast pump at a chain store that was
going out of business. It looked like something fun to own, so I
bought it. Now that the weekend is here, I just took it out the box
and am trying to use it, but I found out there are no instructions and
the business is now closed forever. I just called my mother and my
ex-wife and neither of them have ever used one. Can anyone tell me
how?

This question is very frequently asked in this newsgroup. I am sure you can
find an answer if you Google this group's archives.

Put it on your johnson and turn it on!

"Buck Turgidson" wrote in message
news:1XWze.44610$rb6.40565@lakeread07...
Last weekend I bought myself a breast pump at a chain store that was
going out of business. It looked like something fun to own, so I
bought it. Now that the weekend is here, I just took it out the box
and am trying to use it, but I found out there are no instructions and
the business is now closed forever. I just called my mother and my
ex-wife and neither of them have ever used one. Can anyone tell me
how?

This question is very frequently asked in this newsgroup. I am sure you
can
find an answer if you Google this group's archives.

On Sat, 09 Jul 2005 02:17:33 -0500, wrote:

Last weekend I bought myself a breast pump at a chain store that was
going out of business. It looked like something fun to own, so I
bought it. Now that the weekend is here, I just took it out the box
and am trying to use it, but I found out there are no instructions and
the business is now closed forever. I just called my mother and my
ex-wife and neither of them have ever used one. Can anyone tell me
how?

Thank You

Robert W. Jacobs

Examine your breast. You should find a valve like the kind on your
car tires there somewhere. Attach the tube from pump to the valve
(technical term: schrader valve). Pump away. If you can't find the
valve, you have a factory sealed breast and are out of luck. Sell the
pump on ebay.

Just put in enough so that your cheeks start to feel a littly puffy.
That should hold you over until next month.






On Sun, 10 Jul 2005 05:17:12 -0500, wrote:

On Sat, 09 Jul 2005 22:09:47 -0400, Paul Franklin
wrote:

On Sat, 09 Jul 2005 02:17:33 -0500, wrote:

Last weekend I bought myself a breast pump at a chain store that was
going out of business. It looked like something fun to own, so I
bought it. Now that the weekend is here, I just took it out the box
and am trying to use it, but I found out there are no instructions and
the business is now closed forever. I just called my mother and my
ex-wife and neither of them have ever used one. Can anyone tell me
how?

Thank You

Robert W. Jacobs

Examine your breast. You should find a valve like the kind on your
car tires there somewhere. Attach the tube from pump to the valve
(technical term: schrader valve). Pump away. If you can't find the
valve, you have a factory sealed breast and are out of luck. Sell the
pump on ebay.


Cool, I found the valve. Now how many pounds should I put in. I dont
want an explosion.

Hook it up to your asshole and pull your head out of your ass.

Tom

wrote in message
...
Last weekend I bought myself a breast pump at a chain store that was
going out of business. It looked like something fun to own, so I
bought it. Now that the weekend is here, I just took it out the box
and am trying to use it, but I found out there are no instructions and
the business is now closed forever. I just called my mother and my
ex-wife and neither of them have ever used one. Can anyone tell me
how?

Thank You

Robert W. Jacobs