wrote in message ...
Mary Fisher wrote:

wrote in message
...

Mary, I used to have quite a bit of sympathy with some of your posts
but this just makes me see you as a crabby old moaner - sorry!

Don't apologise :-)

While it's good in some ways when the children leave home it's also
*very good* to have tham come back and stay sometimes.

We have too many of them.

Well whose fault is that then! :-)

Lust is a powerful urge.

It was very good when they were at home and we
felt bereft as each of them left, the last left the biggest hole in our
hearts. But now, if we saw each of them only twice a year it would
intrude
in a large part of our lives. We have developed those and discovered the
delights of following our own interests and not having to be at the beck
and
call of others all the time. We're now real people, individuals, not just
Mum and Dad. I think they value us more now, too, being parents
themselves
and understanding the loss of their freedom.

Well ours aren't parents yet (though they're well old enough).

Some of our grandchildren are old enough - horrors!

We put
our children (and other family members occasionally) to good use, they
come and house sit when we go on holiday. This is a very necessary
function when you have two horses, two dogs, four cats and some
chickens. How else could we go on holiday if the children weren't
welcome!

We don't have holidays. Too busy. When we go away we usually take the hens
with us, otherwise they stay at a son's.


When they do come it's lovely but when they've gone we put our arms round
each other and say it was nice but it's better now they've gone. And I
imagine that when we visit them they do the same when we leave!

Hmmm, that's not our feeling about them visiting us or us visiting
them. Admittedly when I visit my daughter it's usually to do some
work like installing a bathroom, however she comes and does decorating
for us (and she's a very good tiler) so the benefit is reciprocal.

Yes, that usually happens with us too. A few weeks ago we were in Wiltshire
moving an internal wall (Spouse) and ironing (me). And drinking lots of
champagne (everyone) for a housewarming and 15th wedding anniversary
(theirs). We had to slepep on a put-u-up surrounded by removal chests and no
room to move. It would have been easier in the caravan!

The idea of buying a house with a spare room for when they stay, with no
other use between times, would be silly. We have a room with a single bed
which doubles as a dressing room. It's used by many solo friends and

Our spare rooms are used by all and sundry.

So is our caravan:-) Four can sleep in that, only one in the dressing room.
Three in the loft, three in the sitting room - but we we prefer not to have
that number often. We turned our large second bedroom (where three boys used
to sleep) into a workshop, store room and office for my use, it's far better
used - and earns its keep - than it would be for guests.

Have a party, ask people
who come a long way to stay. When we had a really big party a couple
of years ago (wife 50, her mother 70, her grandmother 90) we had a
Cajun band to play and they stayed overnight as their plane home was
the next day. Having lots of space and places makes our lives more
sociable.

It also means more expense if you buy a house with those facilities. When
you don't have much spare cash and are 'getting on' what's the point in
buying a house (or bungalow) with extra rooms just for the sake of them? Not
that we have any intention of moving. All our friends with large houses are
downsizing though, which surprises me. If we'd had one to start with we
wouldn't want to move. We could never afford one :-(

Our social life is thriving though :-) We have lots of parties (mostly when
we're under canvas and can't disturb the neighbours)

Mary

--
Chris Green