Your experience is not unique. I live on the east coast in a similarly
hot real eastate market. I've had electricians and plumbers stand me
up and it's common knowledge that with the most sought after
contractors you have to call at least 5 times just to get a call back.
I also run a small home improvement business so I know how easy it is,
as a contractor, to take on more work than you can handle when demand
is so high. In your case it seems to be a not very well run
mom-and-pop outfit (my wife is NOT involved in my business and I'd
think it unprofessional to have her run my errands). Not to excuse what
you've been subjected to, but even the most well-meaning contractor can
come off as rude or flaky if they're overworked and/or disorganized.
That said, if they can't even apologize or offer amends, take your
business elsewhere. Ask your neighbors for recommendations before
contacting any contractors again.