Our kid is off to basketball camp soon, forcing my wife and I to shop
around for a couple of pairs of sneakers for her, because: "you can't
show up with last year's models"... even though they haven't been worn
and are on sale. I avoid malls when possible but there I was, looking at
floor-to-ceiling displays of hundreds of gym-shoes.

The thought struck me, these 'shoes' are looking very much like some of
the tools at the local Borg. Multi-coloured, multi-durometer rubberized
plastics, odd shapes, and the same smell. The glossy gel-pads on the
top/sides/bottom/fronts/backs of a B&D sander must have come from the
same designers as a lot of those sneakers. Is any of this crap actually
functional?

After my work-bench confession that I do, in fact, pet my Fein vacuum, I
have spent some time paying extra attention to the 'Tool Aesthetic'. I
have 5 quality routers now, why the urge to to buy a Porter Cable Model
100 Classic router? Cuz I love the 'look' of it, that's why. As a
router, its performance and features are not state of the art.

A tool for reliability and helpful features..and a tool to polish and
pet.
I guess I am getting some insight why the idea of having a mistress as
well as a wife is so popular in some countries.

An Adidas 28v cordless can't be far off. But I ask you: WTF???