John Rumm wrote:

Rough translation:

We will come in and bollox up the natural moisture management of you
nice Victorian property. We will guarantee this will fix your problem
only on the condiftion that *you* actually do all the real work that is
required to fix the actuall cause once we have gone. The guarantee we
leave is a good one as long as the company is still trading when you
need it. (BTW. you will notice that we are called Damp Cowboys (2003)
Ltd. That is because we routinely fold the company every two to three
years and open a new one that takes on the previous staff, and assets of
the defunct company, but not the liabilities). Oh, and some jobs for the
boys in our timber treatment devision!

Cynical, me?

Not cynical enough by half, John.

I'd amend the above to read "...The guarantee we leave will look like a
good one, but rest assured that in the unlikely event that the company
is still trading when you need it, we will guarantee absolutely that we
will be able to wriggle out of responsibility for any ensuing problems
you may have, using any and all means at our disposal"

David