Greetings Charlie,

I have learned from being a landlord that many people with seemingly no
balls or spine of any sort have a great capacity hidden within to
become a victim through their own actions or inactions. Amazingly, the
entire world always seems to come to their aid to combat the great evil
causing them harm. If you were a certain class of tenant trying to
solve this problem you would get a little pussy cat. You would want
her to learn to be an outside cat but you wouldn't want her to run away
so you would put her on a leash and leave her out there while you go
inside and call the rental company. Tada! Before you know it you are
the victim, your neighbor (who had no clue the dog is causing you a
problem) is a scumbag, you never had to be honest with him about your
feelings, and you still get to bang his wife. The world will reward
you 100 times over the cost someone else paid for the kitty cat you
"found abandoned and rescued". If you want the world to think you
are entitled to greater rewards and millions of dollars you'll have to
feed your child paint chips. If this idea bothers you you might
instead develop a "disease" which causes you to smoke large amounts
of crack cocaine while you are pregnant and then sue the doctor who
apparently botched the premature delivery as your child's
borderline-retardation IQ corroborates.

Hope this helps,
William