On Fri, 22 Jul 2005 23:00:02 -0500, "Morris Dovey"
wrote:

Snip

Early on (at the airport, actually), I noticed that the French
casually practiced formal manners with each other and with travelers.

I'm sure you already know it, I'm just fleshing it out. It becomes
fairly obvious that manners are more important to them even when
learning to conjugate verbs in French. We do not have a formal (or
plural) "you" compared to an informal "you" that has a set of rules
attached to it's usage in American English (Though I think some
Anabaptist sects still use "Thou") Nor do we use surnames until
granted permission to do otherwise. If someone came to your home and
burped at the dinner table, stood uncomfortably close to you and
didn't bathe, I'd be willing to bet most Americans would be awfully
rude as well. Different strokes.

Please, thank you, pardon me, bon jour (easily translated as "good
day" but used more generally than we'd say g'day), sir, madam, all
seemed to be truly important elements of dialog - more so than I was
used to. I mentally shrugged and greeted the customs inspector with a
smile and "Bonjour monsieur" - and was dumbfounded when he returned
the smile and the greeting. I can count on one finger the number of
times (out of at least a hundred) that a customs inspector has opened
with a smile and he was it. It was a strong clue, I got it, and it
served me well. I paid attention and noticed that people who opened by
stating their business (without smile and greeting) seemed to be
treated as if they'd "dissed" the person they were talking to. Mom was
right - manners /do/ matter - and the challenge is to pick up on the
nuances that aren't quite the same as back home.

It becomes a different challenge when you pick up some mannerisms
from other cultures and then bring them into your area as well. My
wife is always getting on my case for being too formal. She says it
puts people off.

Anyhow, thanks Morris. You said all that a lot better than I would
have.