On Sat, 16 Jul 2005 01:24:34 -0500, wrote:

My nozzle would not go on my hose. Someone must have driven over the
end and it was all flat. My neighbor said they sell new ends at the
hardware store. I went to the hardware store and asked for a new hose
end. The stupid punk kid that works there, who is probably not a day
older than 25, asks me if my hose is a male or a female. I knew right
away the punk is some sort of pervert who spends all his time looking
at porn on the internet, and everything in life is about sex. I was
very angry and told the punk he is going to lose his job, and left
the store without the part. I am writing a letter to the store
manager to complain and I got the punks name. He will soon be
unemployed. Anyhow, how can you tell if my hose is male or female? I
want to know now.

Hmmm, I just checked, all my current hoses are kinda bisexual. On one
side ya got 'yer male thingy, the other end is more female like. I
guess it's a good situation for the hose, the male end can couple with
the female end.

Does your hose get unpredictable and moody on a regular monthly basis?
Do you often have to feed it and talk to it sweetly before it will put
out? Does it require an expensive outer covering before it will allow
you to take it out? Must these outer covering be rotated, never to use
the same one twice in one month? Does your hose require a different
set of coverings depending on the season?

If the above is true, sorry to say, but you are stuck with a female
hose. I suggest surgery to convert it to the more utilitarian bisexual
hose.

Roy

DJ