Former Turner prize nominee, Tracey Emin today blasted comments by Ivan
Massow, head of the Institute of Contemporary Arts, who said that most
conceptual art was "nothing but a pile of old crap" as a deliberate
attempt to upstage and leak details of her latest masterpiece "A
Steaming Lump Of **** Wot I Did". Emin immediately called for the
resignation of Massow. She told theSchmews that to leak details of her
new work could seriously affect the shock value and subsequent resale
value was unforgiveable and completely missed the importance her work
has on all art.

Mr Massow wrote in the New Statesman magazine: "It is the product of
over-indulged, middle class (barely concealed behind mockney accents),
bloated egos who patronise real people with fake understanding." Emin
was quick to refute this saying that her latest work explores the real
inner workings of her mind and body and should be viewed as a valued
contribution to the art world.

"Even when Steaming Lump was just on the floor in my studio, guvnor,
gawd bless yuh, I began to realise its importance when it began to not
only attract human interest but also, bleedin' amazingly, fousands of
flies." Emin admits that she did consider including the flies as part of
the exhibit but felt that it may be confused with the work of enfant
terrible of the contemporary art world Damien Hurst.

The Saatchi gallery, which has already expressed an interest in Emin's
latest work and was described by Mr Massow as "anally retentive" refused
to comment except to say that Mr Massow wouldn't understand contempory
art if he stepped in it whilst walking in the park. The gallery later
retracted the statement after realising that "A Stepped In Squishy Dog
**** And Used Condom" would also form part of Miss Emin's latest exhibition.





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