DIYbanter - View Single Post

wrote:
On 21 Jun 2005 10:20:50 -0700, "Bobby_M"
wrote:

My charbroil natural gas stainless steel grill has cast brass burners
which are guaranteed for life.

Guaranteed for life !!!!

I love that expression. In other words, it's guaranteed to last the
life of the grill. When the grill dies, then the guarantee expires.
If the grill explodes, it's dead. therefore the warrantee is expired.

OR, are they referring to YOUR life? In other words, you must have
signed a form which verifies you personally as the owner, and have
given them your social security number and all sorts of other personal
information. That way you can not pass on the warrantee to your
offspring, or the guy you sell the grill to after you get tired of it.
Do they also monitor your health, or maybe they got you hooked to a
heart monitor to insure that you are still living? And just think of
what happens if suddenly they decide that you are living too long and
they are tired of waiting for your death so they can expire the
warrantee. Do they have some sort of sattelite controlled device
connected to the grill that will make it explode and thus kill you in
order to end the warrantee?

OR, are they referring to life as the life of their company? Just
think what would happen if someday they suddenly decide to go out of
business, or just merge with another company and change the company
name. I guess THEIR life is over, so goodbye warrantee !!!

And, finally, consider this. You go to a store and buy one of these
grills. On the way home from the store you are in a serious car
accident and you die. Your family finds the grill in the trunk of
your demolished car, but the trunk and grill survive. Someone in your
family now has a brand new grill that has no warrantee, since it
expired 10 minutes after you bought it and left the store because you
were killed.

NOTICE: This message has a lifetime warrantee. I guarantee that you
will remember it for the rest of your life, everytime you see the
phrase "Lifetime Warrantee", you will remember this message.

I hear that suckers also have lifetime warrantees. Is this true?

Do not underestimate the power of the lifetime warrantee. I have been
getting fresh brakes 1/year for my Chevy Blazer due to lifetime
warranty. (Though somebody claimed they would stop at 7, well see) I
got the receipts for my phillips light bulbs that claim some kind of
warraty since they keep blowing out. (well see) I just bought a sump
pump for my basement that has a lifetime warranty. I got my eye on that
one too since my pumps usually fail within a year. Also got some
outside lights that come with some kind of warranty though I thought it
funny that they claimed they were for 1-2 hours a day operation. I
wonder if they will send someone to my house to monitor my outside light
usage, lol. Im about to send back a coffee maker I bought for my mother
over Christmas since its already not working and has some kinda
warranty. My basement plumbing for foundation drainage was layed uphill
I got a claim on that going. I got a new Handspring treo last year,
speaker stopped working. I could probably go on and on. I wonder if
I'm on some list as a 'warranty user.' Though knowing this country its
more likely a warranty abuser :P

Warranty 4tw!! \o/