In article .com, Matt says...

My neighbor keeps his trees trimmed, and his dog out of my yard. He
doesn't park in front of my house, either.

The problem is that I don't like it when he goes in and out of his
house during the day, and I like it even less when he goes in and out
during the night. Don't even ask me how mad I get when he uses his
fancy schmancy electronical garage door opener instead of the front
door.

You might try talking to him about it, but if he's rude enough to use that
thing, he'll probably "get a hard on for you" (or whatever).

So put some roofing nails under the garage door. That'll fix him.


Also, his porch light is way too bright. I think it's 40 watts, but
could be 60. Maybe even 100, I don't really know.

Somebody once blamed me for my light shining in their bedrooms at night, but I
know it's not my light because they said it was a 100 watt bulb, but I have a
150 watt bulb.


Oh yeah - he has zoysia grass, and I hate that.

Check the local zoning laws and botanical societies. If there is a law against
the grass or other concern, anonymously report him to the authorities.


And another thing - he has these thingies that hang at the edge of his
roof, and when it rains they collect a lot of water and divert it onto
his yard. This REALLY ****es me off.

At night, put a bunch of maple leaves in those. A had a brother in law who did
that for a neighbor - never had a problem with those thingies again.


He also keeps a big black round gizmo on his deck, and sometime he sets
it on fire and puts some sort of meat on it. The smell is awful. What
ever happened to cooking in your kitchen and sparing the rest of us
from knowing what you are going to eat that night?

Anonymously report him to the fire department. Tell the fire department that
fire is coming out of his roof - that way they'll get there faster. A brother
in law didnt' like a loud party, and he told the police that he had heard
gunshots. That way he got to police to come out faster. It may work that way
for you.


PLUS when he does this he drinks beer, which is a sin.

I'll never figure out why people can't be good neighbors and get along
with me; I don't ask much, and I'm not petty like they are.


Ain't it awful!

Banty