(earthquake-style).
Is there such a thing as a concrete patio that won't crack and split
over time?
What's the best preparation that will minimize cracking and shifting
given the conditions described above?

Thanks

Sure but it is expensive.

Good foundation lots of rebar and concrete. Normally the problem is
approached by directing where it will crack with intentional weak spots cut
or formed into the concrete.


Set a pair of huge concrete beams one way,
and truck in pre-stressed concrete planks
to drop over them the other way.