In article ,
Robatoy wrote:
In article ,
Hax Planx wrote:

Robatoy says...

FILPORT, ALberta CPNews. May 30 2005.

Bjorn L. Johannsson, drank a quart of shellac whilst his co-workers
cheered him on instantly killing him.
The local coroner, Dr. Elmer VanDooderen said: "That shellac killed him
before he hit the ground. Co-workers said he rolled his eyes, spun
around on one heel and hit the floor....what a finish!"

The original is an old chestnut that goes:

Down the street the funeral goes,
As sobs and wails diminish.
He died from drinking shellac,
But at least he had a lovely finish.

That's a keeper. Thanks for that.

One of my favourites:

What a wonderful bird is the pelican
his beak can hold more food than his belly can
He can put in his beak
enough food for a week
and I don't know how the hell he can.

*sigh*

Poetry lesson time.

This is frequently attributed to Ogden Nash. Incorrectly.
(although it is very much in his style)

The actual author is Dixon Lanier Merritt, written in 1910

The "traditional" form:

A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His beak will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week,
Damned if I see how the helican.

common minor variations:
substituting the technically accurate 'bill' for 'beak', in line 2.
substituting 'know' for 'see' in the last line
substituting "Durned", or "Darned" in the last line

There are many other corruptions, but they violate the basic form of the
Limerick -- lines 1, 2, and 5 must have 3 groups of matched syllables.
and lines 3 and 4 must have 2 groups of matced syllables.

A wonderful / bird is the / pelican,
His beak will hold / more than his / belican.
He can take / in his beak
Food enough / for a week,
Damned if I / see how the / helican.