[
15 things to do at Wallmart while your spouse/partner is taking
their sweet time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when
they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares......and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the
bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick
your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if
he knows where the anti-depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
theme from "Mission Impossible."

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

13.Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the
fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

And last but not least

15. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while
and then yell loudly "There is no toilet paper in here!"
]