v wrote:
On 23 Mar 2005 18:16:37 -0800, someone wrote:

Suddenly, I was the neighborhood paraiah. Those I thought were my
friends, didn't want me around them anymore, either because I was
a
reminder to the vulnerability of their own marriage, or a
potential
threat (brazen hussy who might run off with their husband).

Sorry I missed that one the first time around... Wonder what the
other
side to that story was, and I'm sure there was one. How easy and
self-superior to blame the others for being insecure or intolerant.
Maybe the person shunned was going thru a narcissistic embittered
obsessed phase and was not fun to be around. Maybe she wanted
everybody to take her side in the divorce and they didn't, the
husband
maybe was their friend to.

I have seen my share of divorces as an attorney, and am previously
divorced myself. Sometimes people who are in the midst are no fun to
be around. It can become the only thing they will talk about, and
constantly, about how they were done wrong and what a saint they were
in comparison. Its not always the fault of the supposedly intolerant
or insecure others. How conceited it sounds to blame it on their
fear
for their own marriages or that she was going to go after their
husbands.

My wife's cousin is getting divorces, and her close friend just did.
She really hated talking to either of them - each was obsessed with
what their ex was doing and how they wanted to make him PAY.
Anything
the ex agreed to wasn't good enought because it wasn't hurting them
enough. They just wanted to fight and litigate. Really very
tiresome.

Well, I wasn't there either, so I don't know which was which, but
there are certainly other possible explanations.

Huh. Guess you're right about that, v. Thanks for making me re-write
this one little self-story I tell myself. I probably was quite a putz
back then!

Oh well, it would have been hard to face that particular truth at the
time. I needed all the strength I could muster to do what I had to do.

jen