"Gerald Ross" wrote in message
day. They couldn't decide if he was a grave robber, a satanic cultist, or
a mass murderer about to go on a rampage.

The Navy came through. A representative of the Navy Hospital told the
police that the hospital stocked a supply of coffins and that this person
had stolen some in order to sell the metal linings. He was released in the
custody of the SP and everyone was satisfied. Johnny had to make do with a
plain toy box.
--

Now that's a cute story.