On Sun, 20 Feb 2005 10:13:03 -0500, "Ross Mac"
wrote:


wrote in message
.. .
I lost my job after George Bush became president.
I am now living in a tent made out of tree posts and a blue plastic
tarp, placed on a government preserve.
The tent is pretty comfortable, but I am tired of the blue color and
want to paint the inside of the tent white so I can hang a picture of
my now deceased dog, who died from starvation. I have 2 problems.

1. What kind of paint can I use on the tarp?

2. Everytime I hammer a picture hanger on the tarp the picture falls
off and water comes in the tent. What is a better way to hang the
picture?

3. Last night I caught a mouse in my tent and killed it. How do I
cook a mouse?

Ruger57

Buy the correct color tarp and it won't need painting. Make sure to insulate
properly with cardboard boxes obtained from the liquor store since you will
be spending most of your time there. Hopefully you have a waterside
location...it will add that necesary ambiance while your guzzling down your
booze du jour.
As for the mouse, I would toss it and get a sign that says you are a Vet,
even though you are not, and beg for money.
Don't forget to put "God Bless You" on the sign.. gotta imply that
you are Christian..

Anyway, you don't want to spoil
a good buzz with a mouser morsel do you?
And finally, for entertainment, get a sign and stand outside the parking lot
of the grocery store that says "Will Work For Sex"......At least we will be
entertained at the stop light instead of feeling uneasy as you stare at us
like we owe you something!............Ross