"Keith" wrote in message
...
Continuing the theme of DIY Disasters...

My home, like hundreds of identical legoland boxes in the 1970's new-town
estate, is built around a central stair well. The first six steps lead to
a
half landing, turn 180 degrees right and take another six steps to the
first
floor. I had quite envied the way the next door neighbour had built out
over
the bottom steps, and put cupboards into the reclaimed space. After
estimating the size of timbers required to span the space, and the best
way
to fix them to the party wall, I filed the project on the "maybe-one-day"
list.
The cupboards were apparently a selling feature when the house changed
hands
recently, until, that is, the new owner found two lengths of rope knotted
through holes in the roof trusses and disappearing through the loft floor.
(Yes, by rope I mean half-inch three strand S-laid twisted hemp ideal for
towing cars etc.)
The new owner, after staring at the rope for a while, decided the best way
to find out _why_ they were there was to cut through them and see what
happened. (He said afterwards that the hacksaw made them "hum like a
guitar")
I heard the "what happened" through the party wall: an almighty crash and
loud shouts and screams. Resisting the urge to dial 999 straight away I
cautiously opened their front door to find the mistress of the house in
hysterical tears at the bottom of the stairs, and the DIY 'master' leaning
out of the loft hatch in hysterical 'laughter', the two of them separated
by
the remains of the cupboards.
I gave them a hand to clear up the wreckage, but I'm still looking for the
courage to tell them that the installer of the "rope lintel" also rewired
the whole house ...............


I imagine he must have had to take up the slack over time - perhaps he could
have used sash cord - and I wonder if it shifted according to atmospheric
conditions .... (creaking ship's timbers come to mind)

Am I the only one here who has suspended their kitchen wall units and the
microwave on 10mm threaded rod fixed to noggins screwed between the joists ?

(drylined walls)

Been up over 5 years and I do believe it's staying in the forthcoming
overhaul ....

Jeremy