Greg G wrote:
I've been a homeowner for six years. In my short tenure as the lord
and second-in-command of my modest castle I have learned many skills.
I have bent EMT, sweated pipe, unclogged drains, put in kitchen
cabinets, run BX, telephone and CAT5 lines through my walls, made
plaster repairs, drilled through a foot of brick, installed AC
circuits and built a couple of simple custom woodworking projects. And
then some.

But...

I can't seem to get the hang of one seemingly simple skill: Caulking.
I see guys do it, a nice even bead, smoothed with a finger, beautiful.
When I do it it looks like some sort of kindergarten craft project

Genetic defect ) I have a similar impairment. I can paint a great
looking picture, but cannot-to-save-my-life use a sash brush without the
edge wandering all over the place.

Painters tape is THE answer to caulking nice and even. There is a tool
for smoothing caulk but spit on a finger is better. I caulked
baseboards after our new tile was put down and was very, very careful to
plug tape down into grout lines so they didn't get mucked up. Helped
contain the flood that followed not long afterward when a water hose on
the washer broke. Kept baseboards from sucking up water, too.

If it is in bath, wipe joint with full-strength bleach, dry. Wipe with
denatured alcohol, dry. Tape. Caulk. Smoothe. Push the tube, don't
pull it. Pull tape right away so the edge settles. When you cut the tip
of the tube, be sure to use a very sharp knife on a cutting board, and
start too small rather than too big.

Hubby knows how to do everything but be neat. Patient as all get out.
Spent six hours one day trying to sweat on a new hose bib. Couldn't get
the steam to quit ) I finally decided he deserved mercy - went down
to the dock, which is a tad lower, turned on the spigot to drain the
pipe. He was done in no time.

I am terrified of heights, and don't go higher than the second rung of a
step ladder EXCEPT when it came time to paint the numbers on our condo
at 2nd story level. Wasn't about to let him slop green paint on the
newly painted white building )

gone awry. I'm probably a little bit more inept with silicone than
with latex, but it's a subtle difference.

I used to think I was just using too much, which was true, but I still
make a lousy looking job of it with less. It WORKS, mind you, but
looks bad.

Tips?

Greg Guarino