*OPEN* *LETTER* to *NeoCons*

October 2004

Dear Mr. NeoConservative:

How is the flesh-eating parasite that infected your brain? Has it
starved to death yet?!

Anyway, let's dispense with the social pleasantries: After suffering
your inept missives,
I can't decide if syntax, logic, or control of your bowels is your
weakest skill so take a high
chair; face the blackboard, and pay attention as I explain the
'Theory Of _Why_ You Are A Pitiful ****weasel'...

In your disturbed youths, when it came to the attention of your primary
molester that you
excel in areas requiring dazzling ineptitude, _what_ ever possessed you
to seek written
dishonesty as the means by which to demonstrate your parasitic genetics?
Perhaps _you_
should run for US President? (Although I doubt many would take a
passive-aggressive
cattle molester with a fetid aroma handing out '****weasel For
President' leaflets seriously
--then again, W...).

Isn't it tragic that your mother wanted a daughter, but squirted-out a
human carbuncular
instead?

Insanity doesn't just run in your family, it does the heptathalon at
Olympic level. Contrary to
your impudent assertions, you slanderous ass nipples, I have
painstakingly analyzed your entire
position and thoughtfully considered each argument with a magnitude of
profound empathy,
wisdom and human compassion worthy of recognition by a Nobel Peace
Prize. I'd invoice you
for my effort, however since I'm finished with you, no reeking hot
afternoon dumpster in town
will have become a strange place to rest your obese frames and you'll
need all the pocket
change you can beg for!

In fact, after the first week in November, you will have the rest of
your miserable, fetid
existence to be envious of my superlative self. Until then, I firmly
suggest that you moderate
the severity of your fixation upon http://www.rotten.com/ lest it lax
your toungue-tip grip on
reality and send you plunging further into the abyss of irreversible
lunacy from whence you
were originally hatched.

Nature knows, you're already nigh-on ninety-nine percent back there with
this GW Bush
thing ;-) .

I hope this helps with your future insurance claims. Please be kind to
your pharmacist.

Your Idol,

Mr. Mulay
alt.guitar.amps

Remember, "the enemy of your toilet is not your friend".