In article ,
"RichardS" noaccess@invalid writes:

Think I'll buy a shredder, and the correct oil!

Another incorrect oil usage horror anecdote is when I was first learning to
play a brass instrument back in junior school. One of the kids was moved
onto a trombone. Delicate instruments, trombones.... he took it home, and
within the first week or two the slide was sticking slightly (oiling
generally only took place during weekly lessons). His dad decided that the
best thing was "ultra-thin oil" which turned out to be ... 3-in-1 !!!! Of
course the slide action after that was something as easy as trying to run
through a thick mud pool. The brass teacher spent about 30 minutes with
washing up liquid trying to flush all remnants of that stuff out.... at
that age I don't think I understood half of the words that he uttered.

I recall my brother doing something not unrelated when learning
the trumpet (he's now a professional trumpet player). One of the
small tuning slides on his trumpet had got a little too stiff to
slide and get into the right position, and being on-stage at the
time, he didn't have the oil with him. Instead, he borrowed the
slide oil from the trombone player next to him. It worked
wonderfully well, so much so that the trumpet tuning slide
wouldn't stay in place at all, and a good strong blow blew it
right off...

A former boss of mine used to play trombone in a local amateur
jazz band. I think that just before the concert, he must have
given his trombone a cleaning and oiling that it would not
often get. Anyway, partway through the concert, whilst pushing
the mute into the end of the trombone and making sure it is
firmly in so it doesn't fall out onto the stage with an
embarrassing crash, his nicely oiled trombone slide let loose
and went crashing at some speed through two rows of wind
players down a stepped stage, before coming to rest on the
floor just near the conductor.

--
Andrew Gabriel