Grumpy Old White Guy wrote

So I'm waiting for a package from a merchant 500 miles away. The package
started its journey 128 hours ago. I still have not received the package.

Definitely time to slash your wrists or shoot yourself.

Do so forthwith, no please, thats an order.

At little math reveals that the package is moving through the FedEx system
at about 3.9 MPH.

Ironically, a bing search revealed that even the Pony Express averaged
10MPH...using horses.
https://stories.wf.com/pony-express-...fast-fearless/

Then you should have used it.

And doesn't the "Ex" in FedEx stand for express?

Wouldnt be the first time some operation lied, stupid.

Congratulations FedEx, you're now slower than the post office!

See my first para.