- What is a ceiling made out of? Is it the same stuff that walls are made
of? I have been calling it "wall board." As I understand it, it comes in
rectangles. You nail the rectangles to the frame. Then you mud and tape
the
seams. Is this correct? Seems people tell me that we do not want to mud
and
tape the seams ourselves. Why not? Is it particularly difficult?

It's not really difficult... but might just take a while to 'perfect it'.
Here's the steps i took to patch a wall (broke it out to run speaker cables
for surround sound and speakers in dining rm and outside):

put drywall up on wall. Use drywall screws (nails are inferior to screws
and are prone to 'nail pops'. Using screws makes putting up a ceiling
easier too (using cordless drill). Aply a thin coat of drywall compound,
press in tape and apply another thin coat of drywall compound. Sand, apply
another thin coat but using a bigger putty knife. Keep doing this until
it's smooth and you can't see any lines. Also do the same at the screws
(don't use tape though).

Here are some tips:
- use thin coats of mud. Drys faster and is easier to sand - and makes
less mess to sand)
- because you are doing a ceiling, it's helpful if you create a 'T' using
2x4 this allows you to rest the drywall on the "T" at the ceiling. Replaces
a few people because they don/t have to hold it up
- use thicker drywall (wall board, sheetrock - all names for the same
thing) for the ceiling to avoid 'dips' between rafters
- make sure you use a primer first before you paint
- use a sanding pole. A sanding pole is a sanding block on a pole that
swivles. The heads are not too expensive (you might know someone that has
one you can borrow) and the pole is just a broom stick.

What I would do is go to a building store. They usually have pamphlets on
how to install things. You might luck out and find one on drywall. If not,
check your library.


- Jeff mentioned that this might not be feasible if we have attic above
our
kitchen. Attic is exactly what we have above our kitchen. Does this mean
that the insulation is sitting directly on the aforementioned "wall
board?"

I should have worded it different. It's not that it's not feasible, just
more steps involved. The insulation is resting directly on the drywall.
Just go up there are peel it back, being careful not to disturb it too much
(ie don't compress it). Also, wear gloves and a mask and long pants/sleves.
Word of advice: don't do this in the winter - way too cold up there!, don't
do this in the hottest part of the summer (and day), way too hot up there.
Also, the drywall cannot support your weight. Don't step on it or you might
inadvertently pull down the ceiling (not the recomended way to do it). Step
only on the rafters

Here would be my plan of attack. See if it makes sense.
- Go up in attic and see what is resting on the kitchen ceiling. Assume
nothing, or remove what is there.

Yep.

- Pull down godawful beams.

Yep

- Tear down existing ceiling. How, specifically, does one do this? I
envision knocking holes and yanking.

Just get a hammer and start knocking holes and pulling. I suggest you first
put down cardboard and plastic to protect the floor and counter tops.
Remember to pull the nails out too.

- Put up new ceiling. Is this something that can cleanly be done
piecemeal?
We have 2 small children. Tearing down the ceiling would require sending
them off to their grandparents. Putting up would take longer to do. I do
not
want to do a rotten job for being in a rush.

Sending the kids away would be a good idea. There's something about
renovations that attract kids... not really safe for them though. The tear
down should only take a few hours (depending on how big your kitchen is).
Again, putting up the new ceiling doesn't take too much time - maybe a day.
So if the kids are gone for the weekend, it is feasible to have the old
ceiling removed and the new one put up (minus the taping). You can then mud
and tape when they're home. The same danger is not there. The most that
could happen is that they get mud in their hair (washes out). (Although I
still recomend that they stay out of the kitchen). If you were to do it
piecewise, tearing down and putting up the new ceiling can be done together
(with no kids) and the taping can wait. Remember to fold the insulation
back after putting the new ceiling up ASAP. Your house will get really hot
(cold) in the summer (winter) if the insulation is not replaced.