A report leaked by a highly-placed White House staffer says that after a
vote today, July 18, by White House staff, Stumpie has agreed to spend
most of his time eating and playing golf and Sara Sanders has agreed to
run the government. Todays's events reconfirmed that she knows more
about what's going on than he does. Stumpie will continue to appear on
ceremonial occasions.

Ivanka Stump, daughter of the so-called president, commented that she
thought Sanders would do a good job and she knew that her papa Stumpie
had been working too hard for an old man.

Jared Stump said, "Huh?"