Please accept €“ with no obligation of any kind, whether oral or written,
actual or potential, explicit or implicit €“ our very best wishes for a
non-culture-specific, environmentally-conscious, socially-responsible,
low-stress, zero-carbon, non-addictive, gender-neutral,
politically-correct happy holiday celebration of the winter solstice,
within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or
secular practice of your choice (with due consideration for the
religious or secular persuasions or traditions of others, or for their
choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all, or for
genuine and legitimate differences of opinion as to the timing or
significance of the solstice), and a fiscally-successful,
personally-fulfilling and medically-uncomplicated recognition of the
onset of the generally-accepted calendar year 2018, but not without due
respect for the calendar choices of other cultures whose contributions
to society have helped to make America great (not to imply that America
is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only America in
the western or any hemisphere), and without regard to the wishees race,
creed, color, age, religious faith, choice of computer platform,
physical ability or sexual preference or prowess. By accepting this
greeting and not entering any defense or other plea with 14 days or such
other period as may be applicable as specified in federal or state law,
you are accepting the following terms: This greeting is subject to
clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no
alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher
actually to implement any of the wishes personally or for others. It is
revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. It is warranted to
perform as expected within the parameters for the reasonable application
of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a
subsequent holiday greeting, whichever shall first have occurred.
Warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new
wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. This greeting constitutes the
entire wish. It is void where prohibited by law. Should any part of this
greeting be held unlawful or otherwise invalid, all remaining parts
shall continue to have effect in terms of generally accepted wishing
traditions or conventions to the full extent permissible under law.