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news On Wed, 19 Apr 2017 01:41:09 +0100, Rod Speed

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"James Wilkinson Sword" wrote in message
news On Wed, 19 Apr 2017 00:12:06 +0100, Rod Speed

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Yeah, that's a massive downside with dogs, particularly
the ones that just bark because they are bored out of
their minds with the owner at work etc.

Mine never did that but would bark at any
visitors even if the one visitor showed up say
10 times in the one day for some reason as
they keep borrowing stuff to do some diy etc.

You seem to lend a lot of tools.

Yeah, I do. Mainly because since I build my house from scratch
on a bare block of land, I have a lot more tools than anyone
else does and don't mind lending them as long as its likely
they
wont get buggered or will be replaced if they do get buggered.

Even now, because of the garage sales where the stuff is so
cheap
that I always get something like a ladder or vice or still or
beer
capper that is better than what I currently have, I have lots
more
of almost everything than almost everyone I know.

I have something like 15 beer brewing barrel and so am the
obvious one to borrow one from if you need to borrow one.

You must be popular with your neighbours.

Yeah, I know them all and lend most of them quite a bit of stuff.
Respond first when their alarm goes off too, although another
of the neighbours is usually there pretty soon after I am.

Why bother?

Because we have all been burgled at one time or another.

I haven't.

You will be.

Most people never are.

Bull****. Bet you can't find a single
person in here that has never been.

48 houses in my street of 50.

What kind of place do you live in?

Just the same as most people where burglarys do happen.

Only happens regularly in cities here.

Bull****.

No, it's true. We aren't all thieves like you lot. Only cities full of
pakis have that problem.

In 17 years in my street of 50 houses (in a small town), there have
been
two burglaries, both non-standard.

That's because you're all povs/chavs with nothing work taking.

It's the chavvy areas where they have more thefts. They steal from each
other.

One was some golf clubs out of the boot of an open car. The other was
a
living room double glazing unit that had just been put in. Never
known
any house contents to go.

Then why does everyone have alarms that
you want to smash when they false trigger ?

They don't, there are only two alarms at this end of the street.

The house one house away has just recently been burnt to the ground
by
a
complete ****ing loony, fortunately when the owners were away on
holiday.

Are Aussies all neanderthals or something?

Nope, this one was quite literally barking mad. She was 'living'
up in the roof of what you lot call a council house because she
believed that her place was inhabited by demons. That's why
she torched the place next but one to my place, she believed
it was too.

Was she jailed?

Nar, off to the loony bin. Quite literally barking mad.

I fail to see the point, they can't cure it.

It stops them burning other houses down because
they believe they are infested with demons too.

So would jail.

Sure, but we don't jail loonys for being loonys.

Should do. A loony bin serves the same purpose.

We don't put them all in loony bins. We have one
'homeless' fella who is notorious in this town, you
see him walking around talking to himself quite a
bit. He gets a loaf of bread from a supermarket that
I usually visit after the garage sale run and one time
he was quite literally barking at the top of his voice
as he walked away with his loaf of bread in his hand.

Don't you have a police force?

Corse we do, but it isnt possible for cops
to avoid everything like that happening.

From what I've heard they seem to concentrate on the easy **** like
speeding motorists.

They didn't with this one and caught her quite quickly.

99.99999% of alarms are false.

It isnt as high as that with most of the neighbours.

It is here.

I don't believe that.

I must hear one every couple of weeks. Yet only two burglaries in 17
years.

So it isnt just your cats that are barking
mad, its all your neighbours too.

No, it's the alarms that are ****.

Annoying alarms with no burglar in sight.

Sure, most of ours are too, but nothing like that high a percentage.

People have motion/vibration sensors, probably picking up a cat
through
the window or a bird hitting the window.

Our are mostly PIRs in the house.

Which will see movement of a cat.

Not with the best of the dual mode ones that
can work out the sized of what they see move.

Pity everyone doesn't use those.

Yeah, they certainly cost more.

Something is causing false alarms and waking me up. And you.

Hardly ever wakes me up, just that one night when it kept going
off right thru the night. Easily fixed, didn't happen again.

Brick through it?

The house one house away going up in flames certainly woke me up.
Not quite sure what actually woke me up, but I looked out the kitchen
window and noticef a ****ing great column of flames lighting up the sky.

Think there may well have been quite a bang when she lit it
after pouring lots of accelerant around inside the house.

My parents' neighbour's house went up in smoke (well the roof) because of a loose incoming electric feed. Unbelievably, those wires are not fused. It severely damaged the transformer across the street too. Also unbelievably, the fire service had no access to turn off the power, and were too pansy to put it out without switching it off first. There are such things as earthed hoses.... Anyway, because of the delay, half the house was destroyed. The insurance company should have sued the electric board and the fire service for utter incompetence.

If I call the police they don't care.

I go and check myself to see if it's a false alarm or not.

I don't, unless it's 3am, then I go and find out who I'm to yell at
when
they return home.

I usually don't bother to ring the neighbour when their
system false alarms, he can see it on the alarm system
when he gets home and can see that I checked that it was
a false alarm from the camera footage that he checks now.

First question they ask is "can you see a burglar". If not, they
don't
bother coming out.

And that is the sensible way to operate.

Most burglars would hide out of sight if they saw someone looking..

Not even possible with my neighbour's place.

Must be a small place if they can't hide.

Nope, just nowhere to hide with the way I check everything.
Massive great pool and the immense shed take up most of
the backyard. There the fence down the side of the house is
about 6' from the side of the house and is one obvious place
to hide, but I always go down there because it's the obvious
place to try to jemmy a window where no one can see you.

The windows on the other side open onto the massive great
carport that is in front of the massive great brick garage and
anyone trying to jemmy one of those windows can be seen
from the street doing that.

It's up to us to take the alarm off the wall with a brick.

Ours time out. It's a legal requirement.

Legal requirement here, but there's a loophole. After 15 minutes it
must
shut off, but it's allowed to start again something like 5 minutes
later!

Yeah, ours do too, but they don't usually false alarm again
immediately.

The ones here seem to run again and again until someone shuts them off.

Stupid design. None of ours do that.

They should sound for 15 minutes, then stop forever until they're reset.

Ours don't have to stop forever, they are welcome
to go off again if there is another alarm trigger.

Or the same one intermittently.

That only happened the once with the one next door.

There is another one quite a few houses away, next door to a mate of mine
which does go off quite a lot, every few weeks, but its far away enough to
ignore. No one lives there apparently so it times out every time.

Faults usually don't go away, so if it's a false alarm, it goes all ****ing night.

I have had the neighbours one do that the one time, forget what the
problem was, think one of the PIRs inside the house failed or
something.

Alarms are a ****ing nuisance.

But do get the neighbours here checking when
they go off because we all know each other very
well indeed some of us for over 50 years now.

And here we realise that the electronics are too sensitive and have
probably detected a cat touching a pane of glass.

It was like that for a while, but retweeking the system fixed that.

Clearly installers or DIYers here are too stupid to do that.

He wasn't. Not that cheap to get it retweeked tho.

They aren't exactly complicated devices,

They are for that sort of false triggering in unusual situations.

Elaborate.

An alarm that is smart enough to work out that it's a balloon
that has been sitting up on the ceiling that has eventually run
out of helium and has drifted to the floor isnt a common enough
situation for any alarm designer to allow for and not trigger on.

They should work by infrared, then they only detect living creatures like burglars.

could do it themselves ffs.

He's very capable with machinery and pumped irrigation, he's
the mega farmer, but doesn't know much about electronics.

Anyway, even if each alarm that's installed gives only one false alarm
before being tweaked, that is WAY too much noise pollution. It's an
extremely irritating sound.

I'm not that obsessive. I'd rather they didn't ever false alarm,
but given that we have all been burgled at one time, I don't
mind having to put the phone in my pocket, wander around
their place checking if it's a false alarm and yawning when it is.

Didn't even mind it going off all thru the night the one time.

ALL NIGHT?! That would drive me insane enough to beat the **** out of
the fool that owned the alarm.

Yes, you are that loony.

I'd be so ****ed off I wouldn't care if I was done for assault.

Yes, you are that loony.

A sleepless night is completely unforgivable.

It wasn't a sleepless night, I slept fine, just noticed
a few times that it was still going off thru the night.

I'm a light sleeper. Interrupting my sleep is a cardinal sin.

No system is ever perfect.

Which is why they shouldn't have them at all.

Even sillier than you usually manage.

Most people here do not have alarms. They aren't burgled.

Because there is nothing worth stealing with you povs/chavs.

********. We have a similar GNP to you.

Perhaps your country should lock up more crims?

Much too expensive.

Kill them then.

The last time the grandkids had been there for a birthday party.
Everyone
had left and after a few days the helium had leaked out of a balloon
up
on the ceiling and it drifted down to the floor and set the alarm
off.

Which only goes to show alarms are not intelligent enough for their
task.

Sure. But it isnt economically practical to have a system
that allows for stuff like that with residential houses.

You don't see the banks systems false triggering with stuff like that.

Banks have a lot to lose. The extremely minor chance of losing a TV is
not enough to have an alarm.

You don't just lose the TV. And you don't lose the TV much anymore,
they're not exactly portable anymore and the stupid druggys that are
doing the burglarys don't have any way of moving stuff that big around.

There is nothing easy to carry that's worth much nowadays.

That's bull**** with tablets, phones, laptops, jewellery etc etc.

Only a fool has an expensive tablet. they're cheap as **** nowadays.

One of the neighbours lost a wedding dress.

An item of clothing shouldn't cost much.

My drunk of a neighbour who used to **** stupid teenagers
had one of them take a brand new gas heater, dump it over
at my place behind my screen wall, presumably planning to
get a mate to show up in a car and take it home later. It was
big enough so it was a bit big to carry far.

They hid it in your property and thought nobody would notice?!

On one other occasion you could see where someone had tried
to jemmy a window and had got scared off by the alarm and had
put a chair against the back fence and gone over it on the way out.

I doubt a burglar would run away from an alarm here as nobody looks.

Bet they would keep an eye out for someone looking.

If the burglar is in the living room with the curtains shut, nobody can
see them.

I can see how they got into the house.

Not if they pry the door open then close it afterwards.

The pry marks stand out like dogs balls.

Funny you should say that, one of my cats has enormous testicles. They're almost as big as human ones. I thought cat testes were supposed to be inside?

On another occasion the crim was visible on the surveillance
cameras that were installed after the previous incident.

Cameras are a much better idea than alarms. They don't wake everyone
up.

But don't warn the burglar off

They do if they're visible.

Nope, his are visible and gets the at least one fool trying it anyway.

Electric fences then.

Doesn't work with humans.

The military disagrees.

You should also have hidden ones viewing the visible ones, so they can
get
done for breaking them.

Only if they can be identified from the footage.
That's hardly ever true.

and are mostly pretty useless for putting the druggy burglar in jail.

A picture of him in the act of stealing is enough evidence.

Only if you can work out who it was.

Even with retail shops, the burglars usually have enough of
a clue to cover their faces with a balaclava etc so the footage
doesn't see one of the local cops say "that's that bugger fred
again" and frog march him off to the magistrate.

Burglary must be a big business over there.

Nope.

Well you got a lot more than I do.

Yep, lots more worth stealing.

Mate of mine saw the cat staring out the window at something.

Turned out some arseholes were pushing the car down the driveway
onto the street and were planning to push start it there.

Surely you need the key?

Here it's just a few idiots that aren't bright enough to cover their
faces.

Yep, yours are all morons. Our arent.

Clever criminals. I guess that comes from the breeding.

Nope, they didn't even manage to invent clothes and houses in
a place as cold and soggy as Tasmania. Almost as bad as Scotland.

They did manage to work out what the later immigrants brought with them tho.

Clothes are for pussies.

And even if that's possible, he'll have flogged the stuff
to his drug dealer before the cops can find him anyway.

Legalise drugs, remove the problem.

Have fun listing even a single modern first or
second world country that has gone that route.

Just because it hasn't been tried doesn't mean it wouldn't work.

It was tried, even by you lot. None of it was illegal at one time.

Black market drugs cause crime. Legalised rugs (like alcohol) don't.

That last is a pig ignorant lie. Plenty of the crime is drunks breaking
into grog shops to get more grog. Cigarettes in spades.

Funny how at least 5 US states have now legalised cannabis, and they're doing well.

Much better to have the alarm go off, someone like me
show up and scare him off before he gets into the house.

And a ****ing loud bark too. One time I was over at
the shops around the corner which must be atleast
500m or more away and it was perfectly obviously
that a visitor had showed up at my place.

Remote burglar alarm.

Yeah, didn't work with work tho, much too far away to hear..

And no one was ever game to try stealing anything
with that ****ing great alsatian inside the house
going bananas at anyone stupid enough to try it.

Why are people scared of dogs?

Why are people scared of mice, spiders, snakes etc ?

Spiders are disgusting,

Only if you are neurotic about spiders.

More legs than body, simply wrong.

No reason to be scared of them.

I'm more disgusted than scared.

No reason to be disgusted either.

More leg than body, that's simply wrong.

No reason to be disgusted about that.

Disgustion (that really should be a word) is not something you can
control.

Yes, you are that ****ed between the ears.

Same with arachnophobia and being terrified of mice.

Which is something not limited to me.

Our ****ing great huntsmans that can be as big as your hand
are quite interesting. I had one as pet when I was a kid.

YUCK!

You're actually terrified of them, like stupid women and mice.

The world would be better off without them.

Nope, they kills a lot of stuff like mosquitoes and flys.

So do nicer animals like swallows.

I just squash the redbacks. Let the daddy long legs do their thing..

I do fly spray the bugger that insists on living in my car wing
mirrors, but that's because its web is a nuisance there.

I hoover up spiders and other insects, then seal the end of the pipe.
By
the time the bag is emptied, they're all dead.

I don't bother to hoover at all, complete waste of time.

You never hoover your house?!

Never. Broom is much quicker.

********. The hoover sucks it up. With the broom you have to keep moving the dirt about then collect it. Brooms are what we used 100 years ago before electricity. You're not like Italy are you? Where they only have 3kW per house and have difficulty using high powered kettles?

Ever had one enter your mouth while you're sleeping?

I don't sleep with my mouth open.

How do you know?

I don't get a dry mouth.

Saliva.

Not if you're sleeping with your mouth open.

How would that stop saliva?

It drys out.

Then is recreated.

I don't snore either.

Neither do I, I was told I don't. But observing if someone sleeps with
their mouth open would be unusual.

Not with viable parents it isnt.

Your parents watch you sleeping?

Viable parents do check their kids occasionally,
mostly to see that they havent thrown off all
the bedclothes etc.

So what if they throw them off?

Anyway, who's to say you sleep the same as when you were a kid?

I'd rather they didn't exist on the planet.

They likely feel the same way about you.

That's their problem. I can stand on them and kill them. I am
superior.

Cant stand on daddy long legs, they are up at ceiling level.

That's what the hoover is for. We have tool use.

Stupid waste of my time. I've got much better things to
do that hoover up spiders because I am terrified of them.

I like a clean house.

More fool you.

Minger!

They don't pay rent,

Neither do your cats and birds.

I chose to have them here.

they don't live here,

They do actually.

Not when I'm finished with them.

a lot of snakes are poisonous.

Hardly any of them are.

Prove it.

Look at the stats.

Actually ALL snakes are venemous.

Pigs arse they are. Pythons kill by
wrapping themselves around the prey.

They're still venemous.

Nope.

Yes, just not deadly venom.

Nope, no venom at all.

Look, I heard it on QI, so it's true.

It's the way we evolved presumably.

Same reason most cats are scared of cucumbers etc.

I tried that with mine, all 5 did nothing.

Sure, but yours are clearly damned weird. Not one of the cats
in those videos of Dave's do anything like yours do with cat flaps.

And mine aren't stupid enough to react to a dead vegetable.

But clearly some are.

I tried 6 cats!

Sure but they are so inbred that they are barking mad.

Jumping at a cucumber is mad.

Sure, its likely some evolutionary quirk.

Mine don't do that, so they're more sensible.

Too stupid to even notice the cucumber more likely.

They see it and ignore it, like any other object placed next to them.

Even a plate of cat food ?

Apart from that obviously.

Those youtube videos arent faked.

Probably American cats, they're probably as stupid as the people.

Neither are dave's cat flap videos.

Pretty easy to kill/stun/scare off a dog using a heavy
implement.

You wont do that with the big dogs.

A rock slammed into their face would stop them.

Nope, you'd get savaged picking up the rock.

I'd like to see them try.

Plenty of crims not only see them try, they feel them do it.

Then their reactions are slower than mine.

Nope, you don't have a ****ing clue how those dogs operate.

Never had a problem with people's big dogs here, including ones I've
been
told will remove my hand.

You've never come across the ones trained to go after crims.

We don't have enough crims to need them.

Corse you do and you do have them.

Not many. Only got a few for drug sniffing.

On several occasions I've been caught petting a huge dog and the owner
comes running out worried I'm going to get injured.

Sure, most dog owners don't have a ****ing clue about dogs.

Agreed.

Or burrrrglarrr alarrrrrum as they say in Glasgow.

And he had the cheek to report me for noisy parrots.

Yeah, they can be quite noisy. I have a long run of very
big gum trees etc down the 100' long side of the house
and we get big swarms of galahs, 50-100 birds in the
flock, show up and all camp overnight in my trees,
jabbering away to each other about the state of my jungle.

I blocked off my bedroom window with sound insulation so I
can't
hear
the
neighbours when I'm in bed.

I only have massive great 8'x8' patio doors instead of
windows in the bedrooms and the heavy armoured
glass is surprisingly effective against most noise.

Armoured glass?

Toughened glass so even if you try walking thru it by accident,

Most people aren't that stupid.

Yes, but the law requires that with patio doors because some
are and the results can be very dramatic when they do that.

Why does the law protect the stupid?

Because they can be kids who don't know any better etc.

Being a kid is no excuse for being as stupid as a housefly.

All kids have to learn stuff.

They should learn what glass is long before they're walking about on
their
own.

Not that it isnt hard to try walking thru a massive great patio door..

Eh?

The door is so large that it isnt always obvious if its open or not.

Most people can see the refractions and reflections caused by a pane of glass.

My parrots don't fly into the window....

I regularly get birds trying to fly thru mine, mainly because the
main room has 5 massive great 8'x8' patio doors, 2 on one side
and 3 on the other.

Try these: http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/122383941716

Some like the peewees would attack them.

WTF is a peewee?

They do with the magpies.

All that does is make the next generation even more useless than the
current one.

We do in fact do a lot better than cave men did.
They couldn't drive cars and fly planes etc.

They probably could if they existed.

Nope, we know they can't because people showed up in
them with the few remaining savages and found they couldn't.

Someone in our society who had never driven a car couldn't ether. Just
watch a learner driver get in a car for the first time.

The most stupid in PNG ended up with a full religion with the
silly buggers praying to skys for more stuff to show up in a plane..

Anyone religious is stupid. The world is still full of them.

I waited till he went to sleep then put equally powerful
speakers
against the dividing wall. He moved out after only 1 year.

Can be interesting when you walk out of the
house and the entire crew all take off at once.

And **** all over my car.

I was thinking your head.

Nar, that's never happened.

I once had a seagull **** in some chips I'd just bought.

I did just the once have bird **** on me as it
flew past as a kid, but never any other time.

Lots of birds around currently, we had the wettest
5 months on record thru the winter here.

Been very dry up here. England is considering hosepipe bans. I
ignore
those, they're pointless, 96% of water usage is industrial.

I mostly just notice the sillier calls some of them
have and make snide remarks about bird brains.

What is a "silly" bird call?

I'll record one. Remarkably silly.

[waits]

Didn't hear any yesterday.

[waits more]

Still none, and since its sposed to drizzle a bit today, unlikely to
be
any
today either.

Soggy continent :-) I haven't had rain in weeks.

We didn't for months. Only got 7mm. More due on Tuesday tho.

How do you guys get enough drinking water?

I'm in an irrigation area. The water is collected in the Snowy Scheme
which has immense dams and it comes from there thru the existing
rivers and we use it from there.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snowy_Mountains_Scheme

Do you have desalination plants?

Some of the capital citys do. They don't produce
most of the water for those capital citys tho.

His complaint failed, as by law the council had to tell me
they
were going to make a recording, so I put them indoors :-)

That's when he poisoned the cats and they ended up so
weird }-(

I didn't have them at that point. Another neighbour has
reported
me
to
the SSPCA for having "15 underfed cats breeding out of
control".
They
came round and found 5 cats well looked after. I told them to
fine
them
for wasting the charity's time, but apparently it happens all
the
time
and they don't care?

I've only ever had the one complaint to the council, when the
silly woman who I know so well that they chose to buy the bare
block of land next to me after we were all living in that block
of flats discovered a snake. Not even a poisonous one.

They complained about you because of a snake?!

Yep, I don't bother to mow my lawns and it's a bit of a jungle.

Lot of a jungle, actually.

Not really your fault then.

True.

Did they think it was your pet?

Nope.

Did they not realise they are living wild in Australia?

It was just her, he's not that stupid.

Women are of lower intelligence.

That one certainly is. Rabid god botherer too.

Oh dear. They ought to eradicate all god worshippers. Bring back
Hitler.

Bit hard, the corpse was burnt and we havent worked
out how to clone humans from burnt bones yet.

Or someone similar.

No one has got within a bulls roar of him for centurys.

Even Vlad the Impaler wasn't a patch on him.

Trump and BNP are getting there.

Nope, nothing even remotely like it.

Gotta start somewhere.

He'll never get within a bulls roar of what Adolf managed.

You'll see.

Soon it will be too late.

Nope. They'll never amount to a hill of beans, you watch.

They multiply like rabbits. At our expense.

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