On Mon, 3 Apr 2017 01:27:54 +0000 (UTC), Jonas Schneider
wrote:
Anyway, with that in mind, let's read that review:
COOPER TIRE CS5 TIRE REVIEW
http://www.motortrend.com/news/coope...5-tire-review/
Here are my impressions as I read that specific review:
http://www.motortrend.com/news/coope...5-tire-review/
* It's Motor Trend, so, the good is that it's not some kid in a Camaro.
* It's Motor Trend which I respect less than I do Car & Driver.
* But it's a professional outfit - so they should be ok (let's see).
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* They shill for Cooper Tires, which all the mags tend to do
* They went to San Antonio, which is the correct place to go in the USA
* Apparently they only tested Cooper CS5 Grand Touring & Ultra Touring
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* The bad news is that this is gonna only be about very few tires
* So how do we use that data to compare with the thirty other tires?
* The answer is that we can't - but let's keep reading.
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* Yikes. What kind of test are they running? The validity is crazy.
* Car A1 is a Ford Mustang fitted with Hankook Optimo H727 touring tires
* Car A2 is fitted with Cooper CS5 Grand Touring tires
* Car A3 is fitted with Cooper CSS Ultra Touring tires
* Car B1 is a Corvette driven by an Indy legend running Cooper Zeon RS3-A
tires. (WTF?)
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* Then they give us the obligatory marketing bs about silica & siping
* Then they describe the skidpad, which is a large lake of wet asphalt
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* The author takes the A1 Mustang with Hankook's and gets a "feel".
* Then he takes the A1 Mustang with Cooper CS5 Grand Touring tires.
* Surprise surprise. With the Cooper marketing guys paying for everything,
the author notices a "higher threshold of grip". Ummm... ok.
* The only measurement they made was the author's lap time, which, of
course, wasn't corrected for his experience increasing with the course.
* Then we hear the obligatory non-measured marketing bull**** about
"pregoressive" and "communication", all of which is boy-racer talk
(especially keeping in mind that Cooper is paying the tab).
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* OK. One complete bull**** test finished, where they didn't measure
anything meaningful, and they corrected for nothing, and yet, surprise
surprise, the test that the Cooper marketing guys designed from start to
finish shows that the marketing guys' test "showed how well the tires may
handle".
Sheesh. I just wasted my time, but I plod onward.
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* Now we're on a dry autocross on the Hankook tires.
* Surprise surprise. The marketing guys designed a test where "the story is
much the same". I'm shocked. Shocked I say. Shocked.
* This article reminds me of what a rag MT is, but let's look at this
objectively.
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* Lo and behold, the Mustang with the Cooper tires was "able to carry a
higher speed through teh corners with more driver confidence".
* What complete bull**** again.
* Again, nothing was tested except speed, which wasn't corrected for with
the driver gaining experience in the second run.
* Where are the placebo tires, by the way?
* What? Placebos? We don't do no stinking placebos in Marketing tests!
* Where are the corrections for experience?
* We don't do no stinking corrections.
* Where are the measurements?
* What? We don't report no stinking measurements.
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* I'm still plodding through, but this article is complete bull****.
* Even if it wasn't complete bull****, it still wouldn't prove anything
other than the stated Coopers might be better for a couple of things than
the stated Hancooks on a Mustang driven the way the marketing guys want you
to drive it.
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* Now it's lunch time.
* After lunch ... huh? Now we move to a BMW 328i? WTF?
* Nobody mentioned this BMW before. Oh well, it's a Marketing game.
* We're supposed to assume a small bimmer is impressive with Pirelli's I
guess.
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* Now they take the tiny bimmer on the Pirelli Cinturato P7 tires
* Then, same bull**** test, but with the Cooper CS5 Ultra Touring tires.
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* They play up the Pirellis, of course, (this is marketing, after all).
* Better to beat a better tire, don't you think?
* Anyway, even they admit it's not an "apples to apples" test when they say
the bimmer went faster than the Mustang did.
* This is really getting tedious with all the bull****.
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* OH my. The Pirelli was "much more communicative".
* Did they measure anything other than track speed yet.
* Nope. WHy would they. This isn't really a tire test after all.
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* Tediously, we get to the final test (I hope).
* Lo and behold, the "drive was more confident" with the final set of
tires.
* No measurements again, so, I call bull**** on the test again.
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* Back to the wet autocross with the bimmer on Pirellis.
* Lo and behold, the Marketing selected tires "returned the most confident
laps" (which were always the last laps, of course).
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* I love the next statement.
* "The best lap times were set with the cooper tires"
* Duh. It was always the last lap in a complex loop which the author
himself said it took getting used to. (them's marketing guys is no fools!)
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* For some reason, we now segue into Unser driving them around in a
Corvette. WTF?
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* Then we summarize by *repeating* the obligatory marketing bull**** about
silica and sipes, complete with brand names for the wear bars.
* I didn't know wear bars had brand names!
* Look at that, the tires have "durable uniform construction".
* The marketing guys must have ****ed in their pants hearing that.
* Woo hoo! "StabilEdge technology" (hint - those are the sipes, I guess).
* Lots of marketing bull**** in that paragraph - but let's move on.
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* Oh Jesus. More marketing bull**** about the "wear square".
* (As if it's rocket science to know when a tire is worn.)
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* Oh ****. Another paragraph of marketing bull****, this time for the third
time they cover "StabilEdge" bumps between the tire grooves.
* Does this bull**** never end?
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* Now they discuss the asymetrical tread - as if that's a big deal.
* They discuss the benefits to rotation ... which is ok stuff.
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* Now comes the great Marketing Conclusion.
* Guess what?
* Cooper is better than Hankook and Pirelli!
* Yup. There it is. A ****ty test but a great blanket statement
=----------
* Guess what! "Cooper *dominated* these tests! Yup. Surprise surprise.
* Thank God that was the end.
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Overall, if you haven't guessed my reaction yet, they proved absolutely
nothing, and they tested almost absolutely nothing, and they certainly
measured only one thing and they didn't even report that measurement.
This was worse than a boy-racer review because it wasted everyone's time
except the marketing guys' budget at Cooper.
*