On 11/15/2016 01:13 PM, Ed Pawlowski wrote:
News Update from Canada

The flood of Trump-fearing American liberals sneaking across the border
into Canada has intensified in the past week. The Republican
presidential campaign is prompting an exodus among left-leaning
Americans who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, pay taxes,
and live according to the Constitution.

Canadian border residents say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, liberal arts majors, global-warming activists, and
"green" energy proponents crossing their fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said southern Manitoba farmer Red
Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. "He was cold,
exhausted and hungry, and begged me for a latte and some free-range
chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left before I even got a
chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals scaled them. He then installed loudspeakers
that blared Rush Limbaugh across the fields, but they just stuck their
fingers in their ears and kept coming. Officials are particularly
concerned about smugglers who meet liberals just south of the border,
pack them into electric cars, and drive them across the border, where
they are simply left to fend for themselves after the battery dies.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged conditions," an
Alberta border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a single
bottle of Perrier water, or any gemelli with shrimp and arugula. All
they had was a nice little Napa Valley cabernet and some kale chips.
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing that they fear persecution from Trump high-hairers.

Rumors are circulating about plans being made to build re-education
camps where liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer, study the
Constitution, and find jobs that actually contribute to the economy.

In recent days, liberals have turned to ingenious ways of crossing the
border. Some have been disguised as senior citizens taking a bus trip to
buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young
vegans in blue-hair wig disguises, Canadian immigration authorities
began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior citizens about
Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were alive in the '50s.

"If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show,
we become very suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage, are buying up all the Barbara
Streisand CD's, and are overloading the internet while downloading
jazzercise apps to their cell phones.

"I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy
just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "After all, how many
art-history majors does one country need?



Hi Ed,

Chuckle.

You don't actually need a wall. They are pretty easy to hint
down.

First you load up a bunch of shotguns with rock salt.

Then you go out in teams of pair. One guy will will
yell out "NO NUKES!". The other guys will yell out
"GUN CONTROL!". Sort of like a duck call for
Regressives.

They will show themselves post haste. Then you shoot them
in the ass with rock salt. If you only nick them, you
will hear them whimpering "socialized medicine!". You
are authorized to shoot them again in the ass.

Then all you have to do is collect them up and send
them off with a one way ticket to the UK. The
UK need more art majors with soar asses.

What? Why not send them back? THAT WOULD NOT
BE NEIGHBORLY !!!! Then we would really need a
wall !!!

:-)

-T