On Wed, 06 Jul 2016 20:39:38 +0100, Jim White wrote:

In message
"ARW" wrote:

"David Lang" wrote in message
...
Similes Heard these recently which made me laugh;

"As full as a fat woman's sock"
"As welcome as a ginger stepson"
"It went down like a fat kid on a see saw".

Anyone got any more? :-)

"Sweating like a peado in a playground"

"As dry as a Nun's ****"

Those first two were just the sort of grossly rude similes I deemed were
unworthy to quote. In this case, largely because of their common usage
which ought to have saved the need to quote them here in the first
instance.


" Fanny like a wizard's sleeve"

Which is a *memorable* quote from the "Two Pints" comedy series that was
aired on BBC3 way back in... let me see now... Ah, yes! Here it is. Six
and a quarter minutes in, episode 42 entitled "Bababababa" aired the 19th
of December 2005.

Actually, you've quoted a (slightly) de-bowdlerised version. The
original as aired went, " a chuff like a wizard's sleeve!" which was part
of a rant by Janet at her friend, Donna, for making light of her motherly
obsession with her new born son.

This, even as quoted, is a worthy contender but not the first two, imo.

In the meantime, I've thought of a simile that might be considered
funny. It's one I first heard about four decades or so back expressed by
my now deceased father (more than likely the reason it remains so
memorable but you can judge for yourselves as to its witty humour). It
goes:

"Sweating like a bull in a tight jersey."

Which, on my first hearing of the expression, conjured up a fleeting
impression of a bull wearing a piece of tight woollen apparel before it
occurred to me that it was really about a bull servicing a Jersey cow.

The nice thing about such a simile is that it can be used safely in
mixed company across the whole age range, imparting the same basic
description of sweating profusely even though via totally different
interpretive routes. It's also worth noting that similes that operate on
more than one level will also be more memorable as a result of the cross-
linked interpretations.

--
Johnny B Good