On Tuesday, May 10, 2016 at 8:30:56 AM UTC-5, Frank wrote:
On 5/9/2016 8:04 PM, Uncle Monster wrote:
On Monday, May 9, 2016 at 2:41:03 PM UTC-5, Frank wrote:
On 5/9/2016 12:32 PM, wrote:
I got a call from "windows support" today telling me I had a problem
with my machine. Normally I just tell them to perform an unnatural act
with their mother but today I decided I would play along as long as
they would let me. This "english as a second language" guy gave me the
"grave danger pitch and then started telling me to type in a web
address and I said it keeps saying "bad file or command name". He
asked what was on my PC screen and I said "C:"
They had me reboot a couple times and I made that take a long time,
"wait, I need to set the clock" etc. They got second level involved
and he asked how I get to the internet and I said I just use E-mail.
He asked how I do that and I said AOL.
He kept telling me there must be an internet address bar there and I
said I don't see one and I have never used it.
He asked what version of AOL I was using and I said I don't see a
version, it just says "AOL for DOS".
He asked what kind of machine I had and I said "IBM Personal Computer
XT".
I acted confused when they asked me about the OS. I said it was the
one that was on it when I bought the machine in 1985. After a minute
or two of violent keyboard clicking I said "DOS 2.1"
After another guy got on the phone, they finally asked me if I had
windows and I told them "no, that was the tool of satan". They hung
up.

I tied up 2 or 3 guys for 15 minutes.
Maybe they will take me off their list now.

I tied up one of the telemarketing crooks for several minutes acting
like a befuddled old man which is easy at my age.

Then I came back clearly telling the guy that I was wasting his time.
He told me that I did not have a lot of time left to waste and, you know
what, he was right.

Your time is worth much more than the $1/hr he's making in India.

I have fun with telepests by pretending to be a stroke victim suffering from severe aphasia. ^_^

[8~{} Uncle Mean Monster


If it is fun for you, go for it.
I never know how I will answer a call but if talking entertains me I may
do something similar. Otherwise I don't waste my time.
In the past I got under the skin of these people so bad that they would
call me back to complain. "Why you call me ****ing Indian?" was one of
my faves. There was also the woman that complained about my cursing and
I told her, "If you don't want to hear me curse, don't ****ing call me."

My roommate here at the center suffered a brain injury in an automobile accident at age 17. He has partial use of his limbs and has severe aphasia. I act as a translator for him because I'm around him all the time. The little fellow was a fullback on his high school football team and is a big sports fan which is why I make sure all the games and sports talk shows are on for him since he can't operate the remote. He's 71 now and has been trapped inside his barely functioning body for more than half a century. I'll hold phone to his face so he can talk to his sister or his brother so I know what aphasia is like. That's why I can imitate someone with aphasia so well when I want to frak with telepests. ^_^

[8~{} Uncle Fraking Monster