I got a call from "windows support" today telling me I had a problem
with my machine. Normally I just tell them to perform an unnatural act
with their mother but today I decided I would play along as long as
they would let me. This "english as a second language" guy gave me the
"grave danger pitch and then started telling me to type in a web
address and I said it keeps saying "bad file or command name". He
asked what was on my PC screen and I said "C:"
They had me reboot a couple times and I made that take a long time,
"wait, I need to set the clock" etc. They got second level involved
and he asked how I get to the internet and I said I just use E-mail.
He asked how I do that and I said AOL.
He kept telling me there must be an internet address bar there and I
said I don't see one and I have never used it.
He asked what version of AOL I was using and I said I don't see a
version, it just says "AOL for DOS".
He asked what kind of machine I had and I said "IBM Personal Computer
XT".
I acted confused when they asked me about the OS. I said it was the
one that was on it when I bought the machine in 1985. After a minute
or two of violent keyboard clicking I said "DOS 2.1"
After another guy got on the phone, they finally asked me if I had
windows and I told them "no, that was the tool of satan". They hung
up.

I tied up 2 or 3 guys for 15 minutes.
Maybe they will take me off their list now.