On Thursday, April 7, 2016 at 1:11:36 PM UTC-4, Muggles wrote:
On 4/7/2016 12:04 PM, DerbyDad03 wrote:
On Wednesday, April 6, 2016 at 11:40:31 PM UTC-4, Harold R wrote:
I can't get my teenage son or daughter to work with me around the house.
They're missing out on a lot, 'cuz they won't learn.
I guess I brought 'em up wrong, but, they're good kids (otherwise).
Anyway, just wondering if you have hints?
I can force them, of course, and I can pay them, of course, but they don't even "like" working around the house.
I'm talking things like cleaning the pool, mowing the lawn, fixing the pumps, raking the leaves, etc.
Do you have any tricks and suggestions?
I guess I should make it "fun" but some of these things aren't really fun (like weeding) no matter what I can think of.
Just wondering if you have suggestions.
My suggestion: Soap Box Derby Racing. This is just an example, it's up
to you figure out what activity your kids will like. It's the concept
that matters.
Contact your local (or closest) chapter of the AASBD and find out who
runs the program. You could start at the top and work your way down:
http://www.soapboxderby.org/
All 4 of my kids were involved in Derby racing. They all knew that if they
didn't help with the cars *and with chores around the house* they didn't
race. If they didn't race, they didn't get to hang out with all the new
friends that they made from across the country.
You want to motivate a kid? Tell him that his 3 siblings are going to spend
the weekend 3 states over, hanging out by the hotel pool with 20 or 30 other
racers for 2 nights while he stays home and thinks about the concept of
being rewarded for putting in effort.
If they embrace that concept, it will spread across all aspects of their
lives. They'll have tools in their hands. They'll build and fix things.
They'll know that it takes effort to be rewarded and that working hard pays
off. I've seen this work with literally thousands of kids over our 13 year
racing career.
I was 100% sure that it had sunk in when this happened:
After 4 or 5 years of racing, my son bought a used riding mower so he
could mow lawns to make some money. That's clue #1: If you work, you get
rewarded (read: paid). He eventually saved enough to buy a new one. One
day he said to me "Dad, I want to buy a cart to tow behind the mower so
I can carry rakes and stuff. The cart has small wheels, but the old riding
mower has big knobby ones like my new mower. I think we can cut the fenders
on the cart and make them fit. Do you want to give me a hand?" That's clue
#2: He knew that you can build and modify things to fit your needs. Tools
are fun. Building is satisfying.
My point here is you need to motivate them and the best way to do that is to
first, find something that sparks their interest, and second, withhold that
activity if they take it for granted and don't put any effort into it.
It's probably too late for that sort of thing for the 19 yr old.
There's probably still hope for the 12 year old for that approach.
--
Maggie
I didn't see the ages until after I posted.
However, for the most part the concept still applies, although with a 19 YO
he will need to find a more "adult" activity, like coaching, mentoring, etc.
Perhaps the 19 YO could be the "parent" for the 12 YO in an activity. I've
seen older siblings supporting their younger ones in all sorts of activities.
Many organizations, even the AASBD, need more help than can be supplied
by just the participating families. Finding something constructive for a
19YO can be extremely beneficial.