On 10/7/2015 4:16 PM, (PeteCresswell) wrote:
Per Don Y:
There seems to be a REALLY strong resistance to changing lifestyle to
acknowledge current and EXPECTED future changes in abilities. I don;t
know if this is simply "denial" or some fear that accepting the change
"before necessary" will result in some "lost opportunity"?

Based on my own recent experiences and the observations of my #2
daughter who works in a retirement home, I think it's human nature.

The popular vision of aging seems to be a graph that goes downward from
left to right - a straight line with a steady slope.

My own experience has been that the slope gets interrupted with periodic
vertical drops followed by vertical rises as one recovers from whatever
caused the drop - but the line never quite rises to where it was.

And, the effort required to "elevate" that line increases with age.
It's harder to recover "as much" as you age.

For me, the epiphany was realizing that I'm not going to "Get over this
and get back into shape".... In fact, I will probably get over the
critical part of something and hopefully will get back into some
semblance of shape.... but the fact is that I'm never going to be where
I was before it happened and next year is going to be worse and the year
after that.....

We lost a friend to ALS recently. This as painfully obvious to her:
"Today is the BEST day of the rest of my life" I.e., tomorrow WILL
be worse -- and tha twill be true for EVERY tomorrow! (and, in a very
*big* way... not just "little aches and pains", etc.)

Once somebody accepts that they're on the way down and they are never,
ever coming all the way back up, they become free to do more realistic
planning and coping.

I think people still want to think it won't be as bad or will progress
much more slowly than it inevitably does. This was even true of our ALS
friend -- even after she'd lost the ability to walk, stand, eat, etc.

I had a friend succumb to esophageal Ca a few years back. He was
amazingly frank with himself and others regarding his future outlook
(another "not pretty" way to go). Yet, I'm sure he hoped it would be
a bit better or a bit longer than he KNEW it was likely to be.

I am still hanging on the notion of dying in this house even if I become
"That crazy old guy who hasn't cut the lawn in two weeks" .... but that
is because I have a thing about institutions and giving up control of my
life to people I don't think much of. If I die five years earlier
living here than I would have in an institution I'll take that.

I don't think the timespan is the issue (at least, not with me).
Rather, it's the quality of life that I'm more concerned with.
I am fond of asking "why do I get out of bed each morning"
(or, pondering why *others* bother to get out of bed -- if their
lives are as "miserable" as they suggest). I fear the day that
my answer is "force of habit" -- and nothing else!