On 30/04/2015 17:46, Mr Pounder Esquire wrote:
Last night I was having sex with my 68 year old husband when suddenly I
heard a loud pop sound inside his body. Immediately he stopped humping
on me, and became very still on top of my body. I found it real
difficult to get him off of me, but I finally managed to roll him off of
me.

At first I thought he was just drunk and needed a little soothing. I
rubbed his body but he did not react. I then laid my head on his chest
and noticed his heart was not beating. I knew immediately his heart had
collapsed.

I quickly ran to the kitchen and grabbed a pot and began to boil some
water. Then I took a heavy cast iron frying pan to the bedroom, and
began beating it against his chest. I did this for a half hour, but by
that time I was completely exhausted and stopped. I still could not hear
his heart beating. I knew that the boiling water was my last hope so I
quickly ran and got the water, a sharp butcher knife, and sliced open
his chest. Then I poured the boiling water into the hole and on to his
heart.

This did not work either, so I knew it was best to just let him rest. I
laid down next to him and went to sleep. When I woke up this morning, he
was stiff and still had no heart beat. Once again I beat on his chest
for almost one hour with the frying pan, but it did no good.

I have run out of ideas. What else can I do to fix his collapsed heart?
Please tell me quickly, because today is his turn to do the dishes, and
he is supposed to mow the lawn today too.

That says more about the man who finds this funny!