Last night I was having sex with my 68 year old husband when suddenly I
heard a loud pop sound inside his body. Immediately he stopped humping
on me, and became very still on top of my body. I found it real
difficult to get him off of me, but I finally managed to roll him off of
me.

At first I thought he was just drunk and needed a little soothing. I
rubbed his body but he did not react. I then laid my head on his chest
and noticed his heart was not beating. I knew immediately his heart had
collapsed.

I quickly ran to the kitchen and grabbed a pot and began to boil some
water. Then I took a heavy cast iron frying pan to the bedroom, and
began beating it against his chest. I did this for a half hour, but by
that time I was completely exhausted and stopped. I still could not hear
his heart beating. I knew that the boiling water was my last hope so I
quickly ran and got the water, a sharp butcher knife, and sliced open
his chest. Then I poured the boiling water into the hole and on to his
heart.

This did not work either, so I knew it was best to just let him rest. I
laid down next to him and went to sleep. When I woke up this morning, he
was stiff and still had no heart beat. Once again I beat on his chest
for almost one hour with the frying pan, but it did no good.

I have run out of ideas. What else can I do to fix his collapsed heart?
Please tell me quickly, because today is his turn to do the dishes, and
he is supposed to mow the lawn today too.