View Single Post
  #3   Report Post  
Posted to alt.home.repair
Stormin Mormon[_10_] Stormin Mormon[_10_] is offline
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 10,730
Default Is your Home-Bar ready for the Holidays

On 11/24/2013 6:23 PM, wrote:
Here's a new concept. Barstools filled with beer or other drinks.
In the past, when someone entered a bar and got too drunk, they would
fall off their barstool, and land on the floor. Once on the floor, they
could no longer reach their drink. WELCOME TO THE MODERN WORLD. TODAY
YOU CAN CONTINUE TO DRINK, EVEN ON THE FLOOR.

As we all know, a bar depends on sales of alcohol to stay in business.
The object is to Keep the patrons drinking. Bars often put bowls of
salty pretzels or popcorn out for the patrons, because they know that
the salt will cause the partons to drink more and thus the bar makes
more money on sales of booze. However, when a patron ends up on the
floor, the flow of money stops.

That will all change now. All barstools will be equipped with a drink
container inside their base. Each stool can be filled with beer or
another alcoholic beverage, and each stool will have a hose for drinking
the beverage contained inside the stool. When a patron falls to the
floor and can no longer get back on their barstool, all they need to do
is ask the bartender to fill their stool with their favorite alcoholic
beverage, grab the hose at the base of the stool and continue drinking.
If they're too drunk to get their wallet, most bars offer a bar tab for
credit, just for occasions like this.

The drunk can continue to drink while they lay on the floor, until they
either pass out, or the bar closes (whichever comes first).


Would your television be playing Billy Mays
commercials for things like the Ranco (R)
electric ball rotator?

Will the bar floor be like the base of a rabbit
cage? With a conveyor belt of sawdust and kitty
litter, so the patrons can find bladder relief
without having to stand, walk, and push open the
restroom door?

In the morning, will the bar stool deliver
aspirin, coffee, and Tylenol Migraine?

--
..
Christopher A. Young
Learn about Jesus
www.lds.org
..