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I was just given the go-head to refinish my wife's parent's old dining room
set. It was purchased in 1940 (my wife still has the receipt!) and it is in
dire need of refinishing. There are 70 years worth of fingerprints all over
the backs of the chairs and there are several nice gouges in the top of the
buffet. The finish on the top of the backs of chairs is really coming off,
too, and you can see different colored wood starting to show up on all four
of the chairs. Of course, there are a lot of scratches on the table top
from cats and kids and whatever over the years. And you can see all the
cracks and discoloration of the old varnish--at least I think it is varnish.

That is the first question: how do I figure out what they used to finish the
dining set? Varnish, shellac, what else would they have used seventy years
ago?

Next question is what should I use to finish it again? I assume I would
want to use the same thing. I certainly don't want to use any sort of poly.

The chairs are getting a little wobbly but I don't think they are anywhere
near the point of having to take them apart. Would it be worth it to look
into that glue that is applied using a needle; the kind of needle like a
doctor uses? It seems like these can get into really small places,
obviously, but I don't know if the stuff works.

One last thing: how do I get my wife to understand that the entire set is
going to be much, much lighter than it is now? She was born 20 years after
this set was purchased, so she has only known it to be on the dark side. I
am sure she is going to scream at first. I guess the only thing I can say
is wait another 70 years and it will be just as dark as it is now, except
she will be 120+ years old by then and the last thing she will be thinking
about is what the set looked like in 2012.

Thanks!

At seventy years old, the piece is not an antique. Unless you know
otherwise, it was probably mass produced and finished with spray lacquer.
Other posts have indicated how to differentiate between different finishes.

Dining room tables get the most scrutiny so I would not tackle this as a
DIY refinishing project if it your first one. Of most concern are the
gouges. You don't indicate it but if they are cross-grain, these will be
difficult to deal with. The cat scratches cause some problems due to the
oils in the cat's claws but they can be overcome.

In your case, I would clean the table thoroughly. There are different
ways to do this but I would use diluted Dawn dishwashing liquid followed by
mineral spirits. I would use lots of fresh cleaning cloths. Once clean and
dry, I would give the table top a good coating of paste wax. If it still
does not look good to you, it is time to have someone with the knowledge,
experience, and equipment refinish it.

Taking the chairs apart and regluing them is not as big a deal as you
might think. Unless you use a gap filling glue, you are taking the risk
that the dowels that were probably used have not been shaved down over time
due to the wobble. Take the chairs apart, fill in any gaps with wood
shavings from say a planer, and then reglue with hide glue. Hide glue is
reversible so if you make a mistake, you can always undo the joint. I have
heard that liquids that swell the wood in joints can also cause them to
split.

Good Luck.